Oga Landlord Episode 21 – 30
Oga Landlord Episode 22
Me: na testing? the corporal punishment and the beatings. All na testing?
Alhaji: yes, na testing. You see my wife, after so many years of marriage she don get belle now so you be impo
Aisha: use the money i send give you and the goods in your shop, take treat yourself.
Alhaji: I no wan see your face or…
Me: no need to warn me, I dey craze. I no go even mad that madness.
Alhaji: good boy, lets go Aisha.
Both of them left and I felt so useless, I no know say I be factory mumu with brand till today. Them used me anyhow and dealt with me anyhow, because I no get money. You see this thing wey them do me, I go revenge.. I sworn before Ugochukwu came around.
Ugochukwu: laughing choi! You look like person wey escape trailer accident death. laughing harder
Me: na army man jam me with trailer, na em make I dey their hospital.
Ugochukuw: eyed me suspiciously the way I see you, I see lies all over you.
Me: who tell you about wetin happen?
Ugochukwu: your walkie-talkie Olamide, that guy gossip pass radio station.
I had no choice but to fill Ugochukwu in and my revenge plans which I don’t even know how to carry it out, I stayed in the hospital for more days and army nurses were the ones attending to me. They were looking like vampire luckily I didn’t have BP, I for just die go.
There is one army nurse Sandra that was giving me greenlight, what happened in Genesis cannot happen in revelation, I avoided her like death itself. After a week I was discharged, and Ugochukwu drove me home with his car.
We got into the yard and met papa Jayjay and Benson quarreling, Papa Benson is a man who loves fight a lot and the man with his children are nothing but trouble.
Papa Jayjay: you and your urchins, vagabonds, rif-raff, bombastic elements, nonsensical numerated imbecilic generation of demented park lord have the audacity to infringe on my humanitarian civil rights as a learned individual, do you all want to be bamboozled?
Papa Benson: I nodey reason your grammar, go wash those clothes and then wash that my bus outside, before I go reason you.
Papa Jayjay was standing alone ’cause his son is as lazy as him, na only mouth papa and son get. While papa Benson and his two sons without clothes that are looking like agbero were with him ready to fight.
Benson: delay dey dangerous, make we beat this man na!
Papa Jayjay: what cadre of preposterous inspiration brung such outrageous idea, do you want to witness ragnar rock, apocalypse war…. papa Benson carry him up from the ground
Papa Jayjay: ewooohh! Calm down ohh! No kill me, ah ah! I no say I no go wash am na.
Papa Benson: you go wash am or not?
I dragged Ugochukwu along as we left the yard people enjoying the new drama for the day, we got inside my room and I pulled my shirt. There was still some marks that showed the koboko for my body.
Me: advice me, wetin I go do to get money so that I go do that man something em no go fit forget?
Ugochukwu: see my tell you something, armed robbery dey very lucrative.
Me: your father aunty sister wey born you, waka! Make I die like fowl wey no get sense bah?
Ugochukwu: hiaa! Person nofit joke again, how about ritual? That one set pass anything for this world.
Me: na now you use your number 5, how I wan come know legit ritualist wey go put me through?
Oga Landlord Episode 23
Ugochukwu: that one no be wahala, em get one strong native doctor I know. The guy don make many people rich scatter, the source legit die.
Me: legit die? I dey serious. Make we dey go na, I dey ready to go any length even if na to sacrifice you get the money as long as you no go produce counterfeit.
Ugochukwu: is your brain aware of your mouth, we no be brothers no think am oh. First arrest my belle before we go.
Me: you and food ehnn… Ona nodey waka the same road, my go buy food, because I know say the soup I keep for fridge don spoil.
Ugochukwu: hope say no be road side vendor you dey go buy am? I nodey eat from public pot. Enter Genesis buy better food bring come.
Me: who tell you say you be my girlfriend? Even if you be my girlfriend, na kitchen you suppose dey, dey pound pepper and dey slice onions to cook for us.
Ugochukwu: you no serious, I don go my house.
He got up from the sofa and picked up his phone, I held his hand and begged him to sit back.
I promised to go to Genesis and buy his food, my use 1, 500 go buy food for Genesis when I fit use 5, 00 buy the same thing.
I had a plan while going out, I was about leaving the yard’s frontage when Cynthia called out to me from a distance.
She was coming out of the yard with bumshort and crop top, looking breathe taking that day. She was radiating with smile and wicked grin telling me that I am very stingy, na she sabi sha.
Cynthia: her hands up youngest landlord, international landlord! Where you go na, we no see you for weeks now.
Me: youngest Cynthia! International Cynthia!! you no see me for weeks now, as my mother or girlfriend? she start laughing why you come dey laugh? No tell me say laughing virus don enter my yard.
Cynthia: wetin person tell me about you do me to laugh, so youngest landlord free toto carry you go soldier yard?
Me: amebo! No mind your business oh.
Sandra came out of the yard, I know very soon my tenants will soon appear to hear the full gists, na only wetin them sabi.
I quickly hurried away.
Sandra: wetin you say oga landlord go do for soldier quarter?
Me: Sandra! Your rent dey expire next week, I no wan hear story oh.
I warned her before climbing the waiting bike and we zoomed off, I later dropped from the bike and took keke going to Genesis road. I came down and entered inside the fast food, walked to those people on seats.
Me: good morning, pretty girl.
Waiter: you are welcome sir, what would you like to order?
Me: take away plate.
Waiter: sir, I no understand. Wetin you mean by take away plate?
Me: I wan buy ona take away plate two.
Waiter: sir, we nodey sell am.
Me: abeg, take this two hundred naira for two.
Waiter: she eyed the money my just help, na pity I dey pity you oh. We nodey sell am she collect the two hundred for help too? Thunder strike you oga take.
Me: thank you.
I took the take away and one of their bag, took keke to mama Genesis road side vendor.
The place was like town hall as everyone is busy buying and eating.
Me: mama Gen Gen, give me fried rice and two laps of fried chicken.
Mama Genesis: customer, my put how many places?
Me: no put am for that take away, put am here.
I gave her the two take away, and she put my orders in them and returned it.
Madam Genesis: customer customer, who you wan deceive na?
Me: them never born the person, no mind your business oh.
I hissed and left that place, I got back to the yard and met Ugochukwu drinking malt that I kept inside my fridge. This guy na wa oh for you oh, I removed my own takeaway from the bag and gave him his own.
Ugochukwu: yowa! Na now you come he bring out the takeaway plate and open it this fried rice no resemble Genesis fried rice.
Oga Landlord Episode 24
Me: wetin em come resemble? how Genesis fried rice dey look?
Ugochukwu: eyes me suspiciously I no trust you, this rice dey like something wey them use fire wood cook.
Me: Minister of firewood affairs, see you don get 80years experience of using firewood, why you never get firewood company. If you no wan eat the food, give am my own never even do me.
Ugochukwu: hiss I go just manage am, the chicken sef no even look spiced up to my taste.
I ignored him ’cause I was very hungry didn’t realize it all along, I thought Ugochukwu will remain his food. The idiot even finish em rice dey chew the chicken lap like wetin em never chop for decades.
I gave him a glass of water and drank mine, I was very serious about us going.
Me: you don eat finish, oya make we dey go na.
Ugochukwu: you skip health science class, the food never digest. Or you wan buy another food for road?
Me: for wetin? Say I be your papa or your mama?
I hissed and sat back for us to rest a little, after sometime he got up and both of us went out. We took his car to a distance area away from the city, that place was very bushy and houses there are mud houses. Ugochukwu parked his car by the road side and we entered one thick bush that smelt funny, we got to a very tall big tree.
Smokes were rising from a clay pot and one scary looking idol was positioned before the clay, with red and black wrappers forming walls and keeping an entrance, we saw the chief priest sitting down on a mat mumbling words.
I tried to enter with my shoes.
Native doctor: taarrrhh! how dare you wan wear your rotten shoes enter Eklemoreklemor shrine incantation
Ugochukwu: we are sorry baba I dey craze apologise, shoe wey I buy 25k na em call rotten
Ugochukwu forced me to pull my shoes, even when we entered the shrine my mind was on my shoes. Before one evil spirit will mistake it for his own.
Native doctor: incantation umhh… You are welcome to your solution, my sons. Speak!
Ugochukwu: my frien… i cut him off
Me: who tell you say I no get mouth? ehnn… Baba no mind am, I wan do ritual. I wan get too much money.
Native doctor: hahaha laughing is a small thing for Eklemoreklemor to do. Umh… You don ready for the sacrifice?
Me: I look around, skeleton heads don full everywhere yes, am very ready.
Native doctor: a blood of your relative.
Me: thank God, I get plenty useless uncles wey I nodey use. Pick one sharp sharp, make I stab am for the mirror I got up
Native doctor: no, your mother.
Me: them don sacrifice her oh.
Native doctor: your papa nkor?
Me: both of them don gone so soon.
Native doctor: a son from them.
Me: na only me them born, na myself I go sacrifice. whispering Ugochukwu I dey suspect you.
Native doctor: Bingo!
Someone came out behind the curtail with a red hen in his hands, a red wrapper is tied to his waist.
Bingo: yes, baba.
Native doctor: give him that hen oboy, see pepper soup na
Me: thank you baba i collect the hen
Native doctor: umhh… incantation you go tie that chicken for your compound for seven days, make sure say em no run, if em miss you go die and if em die you go die. After the seven days, give it to that uncle you wan sacrifice laughing
Me: money their village far oh and them no get road I mumble thank you baba I come stand up to go
Native doctor: where you dey go? Have you appreciate the gods? drop one hundred thousand naira in that pot. thief!
Oga Landlord Episode 25
Me: baba, I no understand oh. The money na for the fowl or to produce more money?
Native Doctor: ummhh… Don’t ask stupid questions, you want make the gods strike you with madness?
Me: I whisper to Ugochukwu guy, you get 100k for hand, I no carry money come.
Ugochukwu: whisper back na only 20k dey my hand, you go pay me back if I borrow you the money.
Me: I whisper back no be money ritual I dey do? money no be problem at all.
He gave me the money and I stepped forward then dropped on the calabash, the Native Doctor looked at me in displeasure.
Native Doctor: I said 100k, why you dey drop 20k! you no want make the money come in dollars?
Me: baba, I no know say the gods need money too. I no come with money, I borrow this one from my friend, I will surely bring more when I come with the fowl.
Native Doctor: gooooo! goooooo!! Do what the gods ask of you!!!
I almost forgot my Italian shoe, I nodey use am play oh. this mumu forests want to spoil my shoe, I carried my shoes in my hands and we headed to Ugochukwu car.
We entered his car and something entered my mind.
Me: Ugo, I no understand this native doctor, you sure say this man legit?
Ugochukwu: the man na confirm native doctor, one rich guy I know even tell me about am.
I didn’t push the subject further, the fowl he gave me started making noise in the bag I put it. We drove to my yard and we parked, I carried the crying hen inside the yard and tied it on the Geepee tank stand bar. Luckily it was Saturday and everyone is at home.
Me: make all of ona come out oh!! I get important announcement to make. they all start coming out from their various rooms
Anderson: baba landlord, your caretaker don show.
Me: ehem… Anderson, you be my caretaker. You see that fowl I point the hen I tie to the geepee stand bar protect and take care of am like the way you do my house.
Anderson: all of ona don hear am? Make nobody eyes see this hen oh! make nobody even greet am, make nobody even answer em greetings, commot your eyes anytime you see am.
Papa Jayjay: it is sin qua non to commensurate th…..
Me: come come… Papa Jayjay, em never reach to speak grammar. the thing be say, make nobody kill that hen simple and short.
I left everything to the hands of Anderson and went to meet Ugochukwu who was about to go back to Aba.
Me: scratching my head you don dey go?
Ugochukwu: no, I nodey go but I dey go.
Me: you fit help me drop me for my store, I wan know how things dey be.
Ugochukwu: I nodey drop you for anywhere, except say you wan buy fuel for me.
I let him entered his car and he zoomed off, I took bike n’ keke before getting to my mini-supermarket. I went inside my store and saw everything was in order, I inspect the goods coupled with the accounting book.
Olamide and Oluchi did a very good work, I promised to increase their salaries before I took the sales money to the bank. I took a taxi with a man singing with a bag of rice hugging to himself.
Man: party sweet ohh! when money enter party is sweeter!! join NP, the powerful party!!!
Me: oga, why you dey sing song?
Man: our party people dash us one bag of rice, you know say election don dey reach. People wey wan drag election na them give us this rice oh.
Me: just rice, them don win election?
Man: no na, you need to buy the the people heart na, na money fit make you win election become councilor, chairman, house of assembly member.
Me: wetin you talk now make sense, oga give me your contact. I wan join your party, since na the party the president and the governor dey.
He willingly gave me his number and explained somethings, I cashed in the sales money for the days I was around with the help of the manager. I went back to my yard and was busy watching movie when Chima entered inside my room with a plate of pepper soup.
Chima: my mother cook chicken, she say my come give you your share.
Me: which day ona buy native fowl Chima? I eyed the two laps of chicken on the plate
Chima: my papa bring am from village today, you no like am.
Me: bring am, I wan eat.
Oga Landlord Episode 26
He dropped the plate of pepper soup spiced with enough pepper, with leaves too. The scent no be here oh, my stomach start to sing song, it aff tay oh!.
Chima: I go come collect the plate later.
Me: I raise one lap up to my mouth and take a bite tell your mama and papa thank you for me.
Chima: don’t mention.
I started chewing and biting, the native fowl sweet die. I just dey chop frozen chicken since when Africa chicken dey this yard. It is well, as I was eating something is telling me am eating the hen I kept outside, nobody will try that nonsense of cooking my fowl.
A knock landed on my door and I carried the remaining plate of chicken leg put under my bed.
Me: na who be that?!
Voice: na me Felicia.
Me: oh! Felicia, open the door I no lock am.
She opened the door looking fat and hot, I nofit explain. But she wore a nice red gown that gave away all her curves and flesh.
Me: Fel Fel, this one you remember us, hope am safe?
Felicia: hiaa! Youngest landlord, you no even offer me seat before you hammer me with question.
Me: pardon my poor hospitalize, make yourself comfortable for that sofa, biko nu.
Felicia: wetin dey smell like this?
Me: em go fit be from outside, all these calabar people don start to dey cook dog again.
Felicia: inhaling no, na chicken pepper soup smell I dey perceive.
Me: I never cook for days, you sure say you never dey hmmm… Na wa oh!
Felicia: give me invitation with wine I dey invite you for my wedding, I wan invite the whole yard too.
Me: you know how we dey do am, crate of minerals and biscuits, congratulations Fel Fel.. Who say God of fat people don die?
Felicia: eyes me wetin bring that one youngest landlord?
Me: nothing oh, I just dey reason loud sha… Anything wey wan scatter that wedding, holy ghost…
Felicia: fire!! I no know say, you don start to go church oh.
Me: wetin bring that talk?
Felicia: sorry oh, make I dey go.
She got up and left, I went to the fridge and put the wine. I brought out the plate of pepper soup I hid under my bed and was about resume eating when I heard a voice singing along the hallway.
Voice: he has done for me, he has done for me, he has done for me… What my papa nofit do, he has done for me, wetin my mama nofit cook, he has done for me…
Me: who be this one again na? That voice dey like Donald own oh.
I was about taking another bite when my door was flung open by singing Donald, no time to hide the lap of chicken sef. He has a paper in his hand, I come dey wonder why em dey sing sef.
Me: Donatus, wetin happen? this one you dey sing like mad people wey dey gyrate for Mile one market. I no know say I don drop my chicken lap
Donald: he quickly pick it up and start chewing youngest landlord, you dey enjoy oh!
Me: eyaa! naso you take your hand increase your house rent.
Donald: any amount I go pay, my enemies say I no go make Jamb. But I don disgrace them, them go picture me going to university hahahahas!
Me: talk truth? you pass jamb? wonderful! wetin you score?
Donald: na you be the first person I go tell because of say you be thomas nikaeke! Me Donald Oturubete score 50 for Jamb.
Me: I no fit hold the laugh hahahas, you don pass with anyhow colors, fly go tell the yard people.
That is how he danced out of my room singing, that guy have actually smoked away his brain. I took my bath and PHCN brought light, I started watching teen wolf later went online to read stories. I no know when I take sleep, I wake up the next morning to expect my fowl to crow. I no come hear anything, I come outside to go chicken.
Me: Jesus Christ! Who thief my hen?!
Oga Landlord Episode 27
My hen? this people have killed me oh, it was still very early around 4am. I rush go lock the front gate with padlock, lock all the exits and entrances to the yard. Na that time crazy PHCN see to bring light.
I rush go off control switch, very soon noises wey them go hala go too much since that day was Sunday. I knock for Anderson room and he opened up.
Anderson: Youngest landlord, good morning, this one you knock for my door this early mormor wetin happen?
Me: we dey live with armed robber with guns and bombs for this yard.
Anderson: Jesus! For this small yard? bombs and guns, who?
Me: na wetin I wan find out, assemble everybody for compound. We wan know the thief.
I went to the Geepe stand and awaited for them to come, slowly they gathered around me in their numbers.
Anderson: Youngest landlord say make I summon all of ona, em talk say we get armed robber wey dey use guns, bombs and nuclear weapons for this yard, make we hear for em mouth.
Me: who thief the hen I tie for this Geepee stand? everybody start laughing, them think say na joke
Papa Jayjay: this inhuman, unacceptable! indiscriminate infringement!!
Me: wey you! Make thunder no strike you oh, ona know that my wicked uncle wey get shrine? he will not mind to kill all the people wey eat that chicken oh.
Simeon: scratching his head you go die too oh!
Me: wetin you mean Sim card, Chima wait… Wait… That pepper soup you serve me yesterday na my hen?
Chima: ask Simeon.
Simeon: na me catch am give Donald.
Me: something wey I tie how you take catch am? You never catch your destiny na person hen you see to catch? Donatus, wey my hen?
Donald: I no know say na your own, I don cut em head give Ebuka.
Me: when last you use your sense? hen wey I introduce to everybody here. Ebuka wey my hen?
Ebuka: I talk am! that time wey them give me!! Say this hen na oga landlord new wife!!! Chaii… I don commot the feathers finish give George.
Me: na my life ona dey transfer like Ronaldo?
George: my mind tell me this thing! say make I no pieces wash the hen that time, but my throat no gree. The mind was willing but the throat is weak, I don give Chima.
Me: Chima!! Hope say you no cook am oh!
Chima: na wetin you chop oh! Oga landlord!
Me: ona don kill me, make ona go resurrect that hen oh!
I rushed inside my room and tried Ugochuukwu number. My hands was vibrating and shaking, naso I go take die? But wait oh! I come dey reason am, the man say I go die if the hen die. I dey suspect say this jujuman na fake oh! A knock landed at my door.
Me: who be that? enter!!
Anderson entered the room scratching his head.
Me: krokro dey your head, or you don dey start DJ work?
Anderson: no, I need keys to open gates oh.
Me: see them na he take the keys ehnn.. on the control switch too.
He went out and I still tried Ugochukwu number but na still the answering machine lady voice I hear, a loud knock landed on my door.
Me: who be that na? you fit buy door?
Voice: na me Akpan.
Me: as you call your name, you call new door? No break my door, enter Calabar.
He entered with his wife who tied wrapper around her waist and t-shirt, I come dey wonder how manage em marry that kind fine girl? Em fit use City swag marry her. That one concern them. He was fuming like he wants to beat someone.
Akpan: oga landlord warn Ahmed oh, em go touch my wife, Eni tell am wetin happen, my go buy the meats I dey come.
Me: Calabar na wa oh! Oya na, make she sit down tell me.
He left and his wife sat beside me, I come dey wonder why she no sit down for the other sofa. I was wearing only boxer and was shirtless.
Eni: I dey my own oh, Ahmed say I fine well well. I tell am say make em leave me hand say I don marry, em press my right breasts.
Me: na like this? *i grab her right breasts and squeeze*
Oga Landlord Episode 28
Eni: na like that, no be say I no warn am oh. I tell am say make em leave my breast, em no gree em go touch the other one.
Me: *the excitement don make my amu stand sef, I carry my both hands cup her breasts* na like this em take do am? I dey busy dey squeeze the two ejima
Eni: yes na so em do am, I warn am Ahmed Ahmed leave my breasts, em talk say I like wetin em dey do. I tell am say I no like am oh. Em go pull my shirt.
Me: *fast fast I don off her shirt, I just dey enjoy the game, sperm don full my body* like this em take do am?
Eni: naso em take pull my shirt, I tell am say na only my husband allowed to pull my shirt oh! say na wetin my mama tell me before I come City, em no gree, em unclasp my bra.
Me: my hands disappear go her back and I tactically removed her bra, na like these em take do am? two rounds soft and sweet flesh stare at me flawlessly, she no even get one stretch mark
Eni: I warn am oh, Ahmed Ahmed, why you commot my bra? wear me my bra back before I go vex for you, em say I go enjoy say em get long p—k, em no gree. Em start to suck my right breast.
Me: na like this? I carry her right nipples put inside my mouth and start sucking
Eni: yes, I come slap am.
I didn’t expect the slap oh, the thing landed on my face with so much force that I almost gone blind, I was seeing metaphysical stars all over the place.
A knock landed on my door in the moment I was nursing my cheek, Eni have started wearing all her things.
Me: na who be that? I shout with pains
Voice: na me Calabar, my wife still dey inside.
Me: come carry your wife dey go abeg.
He opened the door and met me nursing my cheek, he inquired of what happened to me and I lied ant bit me on my cheek, choi! Ahmed received such factory-restarting slap, her hand was very painful, witches them slap.
I wasn’t having anything doing so I decided to inspect my yard, I came out of my room and entered the main compound.
Papa Chinedu: woman, wey your useless son?
Mama Chinedu: I no see am oh.
Papa Chinedu: which kind pikin you born sef, if no be say today na church and satan must get behind me I for don talk something na.
Mama Chinedu: wetin I do you again? why you wan kill me before my time?
Papa Chinedu didn’t reply, he angrily left the yard with his wife running after him, after I was satisfied with the way inside the yard was kept. I went out of the yard to inspect the gutters, the yard need thorough sanitation oh. I walked beside the yard to check if things where normal, I began hearing funny noise when I started passing an incomplete building very closed to my house.
The voice I was hearing moaning like say them wan kill seems very tiny, I entered the rooms checking until my eyes fell on black buttocks.
Chinedu was on top Hannah, her eyes were shut and her wide mouth was opened with tears of joy falling from her eyes.
The girl was quite older than Cbinedu about two years, since Chinedu was twelve.
Fully n_ked Chinedu, he was always n_ked sha… His waist was moving very fast and he was busy pounding somebody’s daughter like olosho.
Hannah: ewoohh! Mommy ohh! My toto oohh! Fire fire.
Me: wetin ona dey do? *I shout at them
Both of them were startled to the bones as Chinedu quickly got up from her body, Hannah got up crying profusely.
Me: aunty! My toto dey on fire, who come beat you?
Oga Landlord Episode 29
Hannah: crying and weeping I go tell my mommy for you pointing at Chinedu
She left the place crying and I wondered if it was rape or willingly, am suspecting the girl is tricking so that I won’t report it to her mother that will never agree even at gun point that her daughter did such thing.
Me: Edu Edu, the big dck… You case is closed and sealed on Earth.
I just ignored the n_ked boy and went inside the yard, I met Thomas the father of all bachelors. The guy is working and yet he refused to marry, and he is crawling 40years and he didn’t for once talk of marriage instead he will deceiving different girls and corner them.
I brought a chair and sat beside him to relax, the street was awkwardly quiet as few churches beside us were making sure people that refused coming to church to hear them.
Deborah wearing a jean trouser and one top, the girl is of class and taste.
Thomas: sweetheart, where you dey go na? my come?
Deborah: hold it there! I don’t do old fashion.
Me: choi!! Take heart my brother, sometimes is like that.
Deborah glared at the quiet Thomas and walked away, immediately she left. Thomas stood up suddenly, I think say na better thing em wan do.
Thomas: na me the girl insult? *beating his chest
Me: no, na your ancestral spirit.
He sat back on the chair.
Thomas: why this world dey like this? the mumu gal wey you go love godey love one mumu boy wey be mama thank you, wey never fit afford common boxer wear for waist. And now one mumu gal wey me I no like dey die for me.
I be wan answer am say em be mumu too for not accepting the love of the babe that wants to manage him when my phone started ringing, I took out my phone and saw Ugochukwu, I left the place and entered my room.
Ugochukwu: guy, wetin happen this one you call me?
Me: wetin you dey do since why you no answer my call?
Ugochukwu: I been dey do humm humm.. so wetin happen, how far the hen?
Me: which hen? Hen wey them don give me chop for yard.
Ugochukwu: gone so soon, you don die… Wait wait, you dey call me for the other side?
Me: I hiss which die? You better wake up oh! that jujuman na fake.
Ugochukwu: so wetin go happen to my money?
Me: which money? you better come and lets go take your money from that thief.
Ugochukwu: I dey come, delay is deadly.
I took my bath and dressed up awaiting Ugochukwu, when he appeared and we quickly in his car and we drove directly to the shrine. When we got there we met the jujuman eating fried rice and chicken, I use my shoe enter the shrine.
Jujuman: how dare you wear that your second hand shoe enter Eklemoreklemor shrine.
Ugochukwu: before I get three, you don bring out my money.
Jujuman: fools! if naso ritual dey easy I for dey this shrine, make ona disappear from here.
Me: you dey mad, see Ugochukwu too much talk nodey full basket, make we roger this guy na.
Jujuman: ona no hear, I go turn ona to dog.
Fear catch me, all those scammers juju na to do bad thing instead of good thing.
He dropped a stick on the floor and it transformed to python.
I no waste time take off, I no even care if Ugochuwku is also running.
Oga Landlord Episode 30
If you see the way I dey fly grass, jump swamps, they navigate tress like temple run, you go know say life nodey two abeg.
I came out of the forest and met Ugochukwu by the car side, I for don run go back if no be how em dey breathe and his shoes are missing.
I dey mad drop anything.
Me: guy? how far? you still collect the money from am?
Ugochukwu: look at me like I have mad trailer of senselessness slap you? No be you first run?
Me: ehem… I think say you go collect the money na, you still need my help to kill python?
Ugochukwu: see the snake!
I took off I no even care to check if na truth or lie, I heard Ugochukwu laughing behind me. My heart beats rate is going ten times per second.
Me: guy, no try that joke again. Is not funny at all.
We got inside his car.
Ugochukwu: guy, na you go pay that money oh.
Me: which money? no be you carry me come here to go dash that useless jujuman money, I no get money to pay you sef.
We started talking about business afterwards forgetting all about ritual, I really wanted power and money to teach Aisha a big lesson. I dropped at my yard and Ugochukwu drove out, a name entered my mind when I got inside my room… Mikel, I called his line and it went through.
Me: hey! sweet boy, how far na?
Mikel: master of stingy people association, this one you call me hope am safe?
Me: over safe, guy you know where to get legit source to get sugarmummy wey em husband na senators, governors, presidents.
Mikel: you wan start ashawo work?
Me: man dey do ashawo work?
Mikel: why you dey find that kind women?
Me: em be like say na wrong number I call like this.
Mikel: taarrhh! person nofit whine you, evening time I go carry you go that kind place.
I ended the call when the MTN lady started explaining her family problems to me, I came out of my room to receive fresh air outside when I saw Eni, Calabar wife coming to were I am.
I carried my plastic chair to escape another thunderous slap from satan’s daughter.
Eni: youngest landlord! why you dey run na?
Me: run go where? Cold dey catch me, I wan go receive heat for inside room.
Eni: my follow you.
Me: go where?
Eni: to your room na, I dey sorry for the slap I slap you that morning, as I go church I come realize say na very bad thing I do. And I wan come beg for forgiveness the way our people dey do am for bedroom.
Me: my dick twitch and my brain format* oya come na.
We entered inside the room and nearly swallowed the keys, sperm don full my body and I wan release all of them.
Me: no waste time, start to pull na.
I quickly removed my shirt and removed my trouser, then remain on just boxer.
She wore bumshort and a red top, she removed the top and unclasped her bra.
Only her breasts send plenty signals to my brain.
Eni: lie down for bed.
I jumped on it and lay down, the crawled to my body and message my leg with her palm. She got to my hard dick that veins have shoot out in every corners and covered it with her palm.
Slowly slowly, she started jerking it and I went bizzare with pleasure, her palms soft die.
Me: Eni, you have killi me ohh *i hold the bedsheet
She use her tongue and started tickling the head of my di*ck, she now swallow almost my length gently gently she got to the base, her deepthroat pleasure was one in a million.
She removed her mouth and got down from the bed, picked up her bra and top. Started wearing them, I didn’t understand what was happening first.
Eni: oga landlord, I don ask for your forgiveness, help me come open the door I wan go?
Me: which door and where you wan go?
Eni: my room na, I just come confirm if your p—k big pass my husband own.
Me: confirm! Which kind confirm?
Them never rape this girl before.
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