Story Oga Landlord Episode 50
Ugochukwu: guy, em no funny at all. What if someone mistakenly shoot me for arm pit nkor?
Me: the odour of your armpit go nullify the bullet, wetin juju nofit conquer na bullet go do am?
Ugochukwu: hiss I don see am say you nodey serious at all.
Me: abeg, dress up make we commot here before Shantel go come see your dangler.
Ugochukwu: na wetin I want na, so that she go see wetin she dey miss.
Me: dreamer, do na.. Very soon five pm go reach.
I stood and the idiot started ransacking the bag I came to the hotel with, my brain no understand wetin dey happen so I need to transmit message through my mouth to the otondo.
Me: guy? you n_ked and na my bag you dey search so.
Ugochukwu: and so?
Me: hope say no be wetin dey my mind you dey try do?
Ugochukwu: if no be wetin dey your mind na wetin dey your head.
He brought out my versace and flung on the bed, and brought out my Gucci shirt I bought… Make I no tell you because it is doing me to kill somebody.
Me: guy na two companies you wan wear so?
Ugochukwu: I know, na em make I bring them out. You get eyes for better thing oh!
Me: put them back before I explain why Buhari loose elections for ten years.
Ugochukwu: my follow you n_ked?
Me: so you n_ked enter this hotel, o shey Adam?
Ugochukwu: o shey village people, it have dirty. I go just vex go Aba back oh.
Me: person nofit joke with, wear the Gucci pans I bring come sef.
Ugochukwu: better pikin.
He finally dressed up and got ready to follow me, he was just smiling. Igbo man them no go go market buy better thing put for body na to wear them sabi, just then Shantel entered the room smiling.
Shantel: are you people leaving?
Me: y… Ugochukwu cover my mouth
Ugochukwu: my love am always he… i bite em finger aaahhh! omor vampire!
Me: no cover my mouth again oh.
Shantel: eyaa! sorry oh.
Me: we are coming, you can go and stay with the securities in the next room if you are scared.
Ugochukwu wan start to preach love but I no gree, I dragged him away and we went out of the guest house, we headed to the parking lot after stepping out of the building.
He took charge of the steering while I sat beside him as the oga on top, he ignited the engine and we drove out of the gate.
Ugochukwu: I for no follow you oh, you don spoil the opportunity wey the girl don fall for me.
Me: na everyday this your Shantel dey fall for you.
Ugochukwu: yes na, I no blame you. You no know wetin be love, anytime you see girl na her n_kedness you go picture walking, and the next thing na how to enter her puna.
Me: o shey Romeo, na traditional market we dey go.
Ugochukwu: alaye! Wetin we dey go do for that kind place?
Me: I wan open shrine.
We started gisting as we drove on, when we got to the market we went about buy native stuffs, like ancient eagle egg. Nothing ancient there sha.. na just to make the thing expensive, we even bought ofor and a hen.
I got native chalk and some red clothe, with chief priest anklet. I bought a old clay pot and asked the owner of the shop to prepare it as charm, he did a wonderful job and everything was looking like a spirit is inside the clay pot.
As we carried everything to the booth, people were just looking at us like we are children of satan. All these christians sha.. Them no go mind their business, they will be searching for enemies to pray against and testify on.
We entered inside the car…
Ugochukwu: so wetin you talk na truth?
Me: I no understand..
Ugochukwu: say you wan open shrine.
Me: God forbid bad thing.
Ugochukwu: so wetin you wan use all these shrine materials do?
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