Story: Oga Landlord (+18)… Episode 59 – 60

Story Oga Landlord Episode 59 – 60


PREV: Oga Landlord Episode 57 – 58


Story Oga Landlord  Episode 59


Me: you dey for the winning team, my guy Ishi.

Ugochukwu: dey take yourself as celebrity, ’cause na the future of the state you dey see so.

Me: Ishi hail me.

Ishi: honourable talk and do!!

Me: again!!

Ishi: honourable talk and do shouting

Me: I didn’t hear you.

Ishi: screaming honourable talk and do.

Four of us started laughing, I opened the booth and carried out the money bag, while I motioned the three of them to come over the booth side.
Immediately the bodyguard came over, he was surprised by the powerless charms in the booth.

Body-guard: Jesus! wetin be this?

Me: your eye nofit answer your brain?

Ugochukwu: so, why you carry that bag tell me say my come carry charms?

Me: you want my commot you as P.A.

Ugochukwu: biaa! Ishi and this our guy, make ona carry this thing go keep for the podium of the hall.

Me: help them na, show them how to arrange am.

Ugochukwu: when the head of the gods is here, is your head paining you?

Me: oya come na, make we go arrange this money.

Ugochukwu and I headed to the back room of the hall, were we arranged two hundred thousand naira in envelope till it is upto forty places. Someone knocked on the door and I got up and opened it.

Me: wetin happen?

Body-guard: sir, we dey hungry he is about to enter the room

Me: stop that! no move again, food dey come. wetin be time?

Body-guard: ehnn… Two women bring food come oh.

Me: make ona chop the rice wey only dey the cooler, make ona no near the buffet. michael don come back?

Body-guard: yes, sir that sir sound sweet

Me: wetin be your name?

Body-guard: Jack.

Me: make ona go eat, the people for the meeting don start to come?

Body-guard: yes, some people don come.

Me: like how many?

Jack: like twenty.

The thing shock me oh! them no even allow 4pm to knack, choii! the chopping of the last time still dey fresh for their memory like fresh palm-wine.
None of them go do African man time, Jack left and I entered the room back.

Me: twenty people don already come.

Ugochukwu: I no surprise. No be man dey propose and God dispose again oh, na money dey propose and God dispose.

Me: no be small thing, four minutes to 4pm. Come make we dey go.

We carried the bag of the money and entered the hall, I did a head count and saw that before it was 4pm everyone was there already.

Voices: honourable talk and do! the man of the people!! if no be you nobody dey win oh! hailing me

Me: na me be that. Make ona sit down, you all are welcome.

Ugochukwu: N-P-P!!

Voices: Unity!!

Ugochukwu: I say together!!

Voices: we stand!!

Ugochukwu: divided!!

Voices: we fall!!

Me: less talk!!

Voices: more actions!!

I looked around and sighted foodflax of different size besides their chairs, this people mean their mission oh!

Me: if you know say you go vote me tomorrow, hands up!!

All of them raised their hands before I even ended my statement.

Voices: no election!! you don win!! man for the people!! face of NPP!!! Honourable talk and do!!!

My head come big, my body nofit hold am again.

Me: inside this envelop wey dey on top this table na 200k for anybody wey go vote me tomorrow.

They all got up cheering and shouting, praising me. Someone of them raised their chairs and hailed me.

Me: no be only that one, all these food wey dey inside this buffet na ona own.

Voices: I go die if this man no win!! You must win ohh!! na you dey go!!!

Ugochukwu: you trust these guys.

Me: I dey craze.

I raised my hand and everywhere became quiet.

Me: ona go just take oath, anybody wey no go gree vote for me after taking all these things I wan give go die.

Voices: only with that thing! I fit swear with my mama grave!!! you for tell me na, I for bring my family so that we go swear together, you for bring amadioha chief priest so that we go swear.

This people think say I dey joke. Something wey pass amadioha chief priest dey available.

Me: if you wan vote for me, step forward.

All of them got up and ran to the front with their foodflaxs, those who forgot to take theirs ran back for it.

Me: Ishi!!!

He stamped the staff he held in his hand and started singing one strange song like that, he dressed like a real chief priest and came out of the room he was making up.

Ishi: umh.. eklemor eklemor.. ndooor! ndooor! humm.. the gods of my fore-fathers.

Me: turn by turn.

They started shifting back, ona wan scam me bah?

Story Oga Landlord  Episode 60

Me: oya na, step forward come swear.

Naso all of them adjust further away from the podium, Ishi ended the strange song that he was singing and sat, looking scary. Me sef I adjust oh.

Ishi: clear his throat you!! pointing at one man with bald head

Man: me!?

Ishi: yes, you step forward!!

He spoke with deadly voice, the man stepped forward sweating and shaken.
He pushed the staff into the man’s hand, the rest were very quiet watching what was happening.
The man received his staff.

Ishi: repeat after me, I…

Man: I.

Ishi: put your name.

Man: I Thomas Ishiaki with shaking voice

Ishi: if I don’t vote honourable talk and do after I don chop everything wey give me, make I die and my family no go ever see light.

The man started trembling sweats broke on his face, Ishi looked up at him and his voice rumbled like real heads of the gods.

Ishi: speak!!

I jumped with Ugochukwu too in freight, the man recited everything breathlessly, oh men. Fear na tool for politics I swear.

Me: welcome on board! go serve yourself.

Man: I no even need to swear, you get my vote. If you no win ehnn… My die, honourable talk and do.

I didn’t know were the sweats disappeared to, the man that was acting like a jelly-fish was now acting all gingered and ready to massacre with two foodflaxs in both hands, he received the 200k from me and greed crept slowly into the face of the others.

He jumped on the podium and hasten his feet towards the buffet, he started hovering all over loading foodflaxs and chewing as many chicken laps his greedy mouth could take. Ishi come dey do waiting game, I swear the thing come work. He acted like someone who doesn’t look desperate to get them over.

Ishi: ohuooo! incantation ummh.. eklemor eklemor, humm… who wan swear?

Voices: me oh! honourable talk and do na you go win.

All of them rushed at Ishi fearlessly to take the oath, while the man that have sworn was eating like he is taken his last supper.

Ugochukwu and I went to the back room to await for Ishi return, I was so happy. I felt fly, I be wan jump go touch the dorm of the building.
Immediately we entered inside the back room, Ugochukwu stared at me and studied me like am incarnate of a legend.

Ugochukwu: you know your real papa at all?

Me: wetin bring that talk na?

Ugochukwu: why you no fine like Obasanjo?

Me: chaii!! Thank God I ugly.

Ugochukwu: who give you this kind sense?

Me: I no know, my mind just tell me make I try this plan out if em go work. Before plan B.

Ugochukwu: thought awhile wetin be the Plan B?

Me: na another surprise.

The door opened and Ishi entered beaming with smile, carry the charms in his hands.

Me: head of the gods, na you dey reign oh!

Ishi: ummhh… eklemor…

Ugochukwu: will you keep quiet!!

Me: calm down na, Ishi the drama don end.

Still holding all the charms to himself.

Ishi: I wan keep all these charms.

Me: you know say no spirits dey inside there bah.

Ugochukwu: allow the guy na, all these kind thing na fortune to am.

I eyed Ugochukwu, the guy just dey act like mumu.

Me: ehnn.. Ishi, them don swear finish?

Ishi: yes oh, you no trust me again?

Me: why not I pull out five thousand and give it to him use this one as transport!

Ishi: honourable talk and do!! the man wey be the face of house of assembly.

Me: Ishi you don scatter my head, repeat the new sugar you add to my title.

Ishi: face of house of assembly!!

Me: I go give you two million naira if you tell me that thing again oh!!

Ishi: talk truth.

Me: thief!! no think am sha… Ehnn.. You no go carry all the charms go, people go suspect say na fake.

Ishi: thinking umh.. na true.

Me: when I come yard after I win, I go give you more money and carry all the charms give you.

Ishi: no problem, make I dey go house before night go cover.

Me: no problem, greet everybody oh! tell them say I dey come back.

He went out of the room and Ugochukwu glared me suspiciously, I be wan slap out all those mumu thoughts wey dey twerk for em head.

Ugochukwu: wetin you wan use all these charms do?

Me: nothing, I wan throw away am sef. but we need to keep till the election finish, for some reasons.

Ugochukwu: but em no go enter my car again, light and darkness nofit live the same house.

Me: I start to laugh who dey deceive you say you be light?

Ugochukwu: I dey go church.

Me: biko adjust my see road.

I got out of the room and Ugochukwu followed from behind, I met them smiling and grinning. Everywhere was scattered with particles of food.

Voices: honourable talk and do! man wey sabi!! man wey nodey carry last.

Me: make ona go house, we go see for field tomorrow, go and enjoy.

They started hailing me again and I went inside the back room with Ugochukwu, we later got inside his car and drove out of the compound while the two bodyguards came behind us.

We lodged into another guest house close to the school, the two bodyguards booked a room closed to ours.
I was so exhausted, I went into the shower and had my bath came out and jumped on the bed.

I was so super excited about tomorrow, I drifted to sleep and then I find myself in..



My dad: stupid boy!! shouting at me

Me: papa, why!?

My mom: you no get sense.

Me: how mama?

My dad: troubles! troubles!!

He started shouting.



READ NEXT:  Oga Landlord… Episode 61

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