Oga Landlord Episode 97
OGA LANDLORD 21+
Subtitle: Fu-ck Fakers
I stared at the screen and saw the witch’s number, I don even forget how to receive call sef as I see the caller I.D.
We are driving straight into the main village were the town-hall is located around the village square.
Mud houses just dey for view, I no even see block houses that doesn’t mean there is none. They nodey gree build block houses for the main Village, Ugochukwu stared at the side mirror.
Ugochukwu: who be those children kwanu? Make them no confuse me say we don go back to the garden oh.
Me: you wear clothe when you small like that?
Ugochukwu: I start to wear clothe from my mother womb, the evidence is clear.
My phone rang again, this woman nodey tire oh.
We arrived at the town square were a large space for cultural activities is carried out, masquerade dance and wrestling, and others.
Ugochukwu: na who dey call you like that?
Me: na Aisha oh!
Ugochukwu: oh! Your wife.
Me: back to sender.
He looked for a space and parked the car while I silenced my phone and put it back in my trouser’s pocket, Ugochukwu stepped out and I did also. Aisha no know say she be old news, who cares about Dolce&Gabana when am rocking Balenciaga.
We both stood by the car’s side looking back at the buses and the dyna we brought with us, I didn’t notice the big sand carriage truck behind us till that moment.
Ugochukwu: wetin ona wan use tiper do na?
Me: I no even understand as I dey with you like this.
Ugochukwu: ona wan build house for the village?
Me: ask Anderson na.
Four men came out of the front of the town hall, the town hall is a block house whereas the people’s inside it lived in a mud house.
Nothing person no go see, the ward-chairman saw us and came over.
The convoy that came with us are settling were to stop their vehicles, immediately they stop. Anderson rushed over too.
He just lay flat on the ground before me, I no expect am sef. The thing shock me.
Ward chairman: tap me your blessing, my own honourable.
Me: ah ah! Oga, stand up oh!
Ward chairman: if you no bless me, I no go stand up here.
Ugochukwu was just laughing out his ass, the whole thing doesn’t look funny to me.
Me: I don bless you, biko get up.
Anderson: honourable talk and do, how we go do the rice na?
Me: no worry, ward-chairman we bring some bags of rice for ona.
Ward chairman: he raise his hand if you no go, nobody go go again.
Me: Anderson, na em go instruct you on how to keep the bags of rice.
He took away Anderson and we headed towards the entrance of the Town Hall were the Village chief and some elders stood, we greeted them and went in with them.
People were sitting inside, they turned when they noticed our grand entrance and I became nervous.
But I manned up and walked gingerly discussing with the Village chief, he did the opening remark and required me to take the floor.
Me: people of Ochagba na ona son be this oh, I don come to beg ona vote. If your pikin no eat, mama go gree eat?
Voices: mba! na true say em be our son tru tru, hope say em no go behave like others oh.
Me: I understand say ona no get light, before this Month go finish. This village go get light loud shouts erupt, people just dey happy lastly, small rice dey outside for ona.
That one make them go gaga sef, I informed the Village Chief that we are leaving. I no really plan to come formal visit, na to just create wetin rumour go carry in my name.
The chief escorted us out of the hall while the occupied chairs became empty when I mentioned rice- and outside -, nobody wan stay inside again.
I looked at the women and men arguing over the rice, the Village Chief and the Elders forget me rush over when they saw the commotion.
The sun no good for my body as na still afternoon, I entered inside the car waiting for Anderson to give us the greenlight to drive out of the village.
Me: wetin be that drink and money wey you give Shantel mother?
Ugochukwu: you no know?
Me: how I go know, I don marry before?
Ugochukwu: but you dey pull pa-nt and unclasp br-a faster than married men.
Me: you no well oh, just answer my question.
Ugochukwu: Shantel say na back drink oh, next week I go do the formal introduction and she call that one front drink.
Anderson came over to the car and told us they are done with settling the villagers, I told him that they should get ready so that we can leave. Ugochukwu ignited the car and drove out of the Village.
Ugochukwu: so, why you nodey like to go Church?
Me: with wetin happen to my father, I just loose hope.
Ugochukwu: so who you dey blame.
Me: I wan ask G** why em take my parents.
Ugochukwu: you nofit ask am question.
Me: na em make I stay away.
Ugochukwu: you dey always get rubbish excuse to your mumulity.
Me: na you sabi.
After I gave Anderson the money he demanded we drove back to the Governor’s residence, the owner of the house are yet to return.
I took that opportunity to call Profit, the lady that gave me her number, it rang twice before she picked.
Profit’s voice: hello, I thought you will never call.
Me: I don call.
We were both silent for awhile wondering why sef.
Profit: can I see you?
Profit: I will send you an address.
I hung and lay on my bed, hope say I dey alright? Sure na.. Am slaughtered by her beauty and broken down by her smile, naso me I reason am sha…
She is the option if Veronica wan turn to that her witch mood again or she say she don tire for me, I go jump enter the moving vehicle wey be Profit.
I got up when I received the text message from Profit and headed to the bathroom, I was busy dressing up when Ugochukwu entered.
Ugochukwu: this one you dey dress like children wey wan go do happy christmas, where you dey go?
Me: na insult or wetin?
Ugochukwu: na compliment.
Me: well… I dey go meet person..
Ugochukwu: person? Na wa oh! So my follow you.
Me: as bodyguard or bull-dog.
Ugochukwu: you no well.
We both laughed over it, I find my way to were Profit had sent me to arrive at.
It was an expensive eatery in the Government Reserved Area.
The waiter took me to the reserved table, the way them treat made me feel like VIP. is like Profit na madam on her own sha, quite young to have all these glory.
She came in later looking new to me, if she was looking beautiful when I saw her that morning. This evening she is looking too beautiful and take-away, I still dey think where I wan take am away too.
Is she tryna impress me? She don impress me effortlessly, I just dey stare and stare even when she dey before me. I still dey stare, maybe brother stare don give me his powers of staring.
Profit: come and act like a gentle.
I got up not knowing how a gentleman should act, I never go this kind of date before to come act like gentle-man on top.
I followed her signal and walked over, and I shifted the chair on her behalf. She sat beaming with so much radiating beauty from her face.
Veronica: thank you she mutter
Me: I grin you are welcome.
If naso them dey become gentleman, oyigbo people head no correct.
I walked to my chair and sat back.
Profit: am sorry am late, I was on shoot.
Me: wetin be shoot?
Profit: oh, you don’t know me I shrug, I for ask ain’t you on social media, like facebook, twitter, instagram.
Me: am not.
She wore alien face as I replied, we talked about ourselves and I told her about Veronica she simply brushed her case away and focused on us. After we had dinner, she paid for it and we left the eatery and got to their car park.
Profit: so, where are you going?
Profit: how about you spend the night in my house?
I think say na only men dey rape, but at the look of things am beginning to think something.
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