Oga Landlord Episode 98
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OGA LANDLORD 21+
Subtitle: Fu-ck Fakers.
Anywhere you go I go follow you go I swear, she too fine. I nodded like zombie and two heavily built men looking scary appeared from nowhere, I just changed my mind right away.
Me: my car! I turn
Profit: grab my arm Stones, will take care of it, lets go Stones.
Why their two dey bear the same name sef? Or am I hearing something extraordinary? Since this two king-kongs are working for Profit. I go borrow one of them sometimes for Ugochukwu anytime em wan enter em fu-ck-up stage.
Stones helped with opening the back door even me think say em wan pull away the door sef with the way his muscles were threatening to rip off the suite he wore.
We got in and Stones joined the driver at the front seat, a blockade was formed between the driver’s seat and ours.
Wetin money nofit do and we watched were we were headed on one small screen television, I nearly shout choi! Which kind work this Profit dey work to get all these money? I stared at her unbelievably but she was pressing her phone seriously.
Then my phone rang thinking say na better human being dey call me, em come be Ugochukuw of all people, I wondered why Veronica hasn’t call. Did she need to be red-carded ehnn? I took his call.
Ugochukwu’s voice: the date-boy, where you dey?
Me: why you nodey start your call with greetings?
Ugochukwu: oh! My bad, no vex, ouch! good evening Mr. Aisha Victor, how are you doing…
Me: stop am oohh.. before thunder without beat go scatter you.
Ugochukwu’s voice: wetin I do huh? I think say you need greetings. I hiss where you dey?
Me: am hanging over.
Ugochukwu’s voice: excuse me, you mean you are ba-nging over!? he shout
This boy na mumu oh, Profit looked interested in who and what I was saying to the caller with the way her ears stood like rabbit own.
Me: I say hanging over. I didn’t want to use the word ba-ng
Ugochukwu: na still the same thing na, hanging-over or banging-over, why you nodey use your sense.
Me: because I dey use your own already, how them be the same thing?
Ugochukwu’s voice: hanging-over is when you both go to the bar or ona two be sister and brother in the Lord, ona get the same blood then you come visit the other it is called hanging-over. But when deadly striker visit goal-post like you, it is ba-nging over.
I ended the call useless human being, I pretended like it was he that ended the call by muttering some incoherent words.
Profit looked over-seriously interested on what she was doing in her phone, I catch you dey listen aunty.
Ugochukwu called back, wonder shall never end. I picked the call thinking to lie that am on my way to the Governor’s residence before this young man will ’cause wahala for me.
Me: you don break record?
Ugochukwu’s voice: how?
Me: you call me twice in a day.
Ugochukwu’s voice: you dey happy or wetin?
Me: I no know.
Ugochukwu’s voice: Mr. Okoye don defect back to the party, em don give up for the election.
Me: talk truth.
Ugochukwu’s voice: why I go joke with this kind matter?
Me: when I come back we go need to talk.
Ugochukwu’s voice: use condom to prevent more baby mama in your life.
Me: call Shantel oh! sleep well, family man.
I ended the call and we drove silently because I didn’t want to talk, Okoye returning back to the party will mean that EFCC will pull off their chase on him.
I quickly sent a message to Ugochukwu to gather article writers and anybody wey dey capable of painting Okoye as evil in the party and a virus that should be rejected, to get on with publicity right away.
We got to Profit’s house and the driver stopped the car, she removed her seat-belt and came out while I undid my own also and came out.
The house reminded me of Alexandra lighthouse the way the lights shone brightly adoring the beautiful bride.
Profit: welcome to my humble abode.
Me: this isn’t humble at all, na proud abode be this.
She laughed over it and we walked in to find the little one watching movie, the moment she heard the door opened she quickly ran past her mother with out-stretch hands and hugged my legs tightly.
Profit’s child: daddy!
I no know how to react and I haven’t even practice on how to be a father, and nature is just dashing me fatherhood anyhow without pitying a young brother like me.
I carried her up and peck her tiny and pointed nose like me.
Me: how is my princess doing?
Profit’s child: fine daddy, welcome mommy and thank you.
Profit: anything for you baby, she kiss her cheek
I started suspecting that am now a gift to this little girl or something, sha.. Na them sabi, I carried her to the sofa and sat while Profit disappeared from the sitting-room to take her bath as she claimed.
Profit’s child: daddy, help me with assignment.
Me: which assignment?
Profit’s child: let me get it!
She giggled happily and came down from my laps and ran away with those her tiny legs, she came back after some minutes with book and pen. Pikin wey suppose dey use pencil and 2A dey abuse innocency of biro.
I sat on the marbled floor she was reluctant to join me but she did, snuggling her little frame on me. I stared at the question and wonder which Private school dey ask all those kind questions.
Profit’s child: daddy, how much do you love mommy?
Me: Bayern Munchen very much.
Profit’s child: how do you love her?
Me: indomie! like no other.
Profit’s child: why do you fall in love with her?
Me: her big waist and sweet in the middle fall me in love she is fine like you I kiss her forehead
Profit’s child: thank you, daddy. You are cute too she kiss my forehead when did you met mommy?
Me: is it your teacher that asked you to ask all these questions?
Just then Profit came out looking sexy and hot at a time on her nightie, I couldn’t tear my eyes from her fried-rice and toasted chicken body.
Profit: what are you guys upto?
Me: daddy and daughter, is it your teacher that asked you to get all these questions?
Profit’s child: no my ears stand I am sleepy daddy and mommy yawning
Profit: come here, let me take you to bed.
Profit’s child: I want daddy to sleep at my right and mommy at my left, that is what my friends told me their parents do.
Ehnn? this people want to disvirgin me.
TBC..
READ NEXT: Oga Landlord (+18)… Episode 99
