Story: Toto Pass Toto (18+)… Episode 27 – 34
I opened the door and saw Albino standing at the door with a tight pink gown, torn on her right leg upto her laps. She was glowing and slaying me with her perky bobs, ’cause she was not wearing any bra and I assumed she neither wore pnt, she came prepared and sx was the last thing on my mind.
Me: Albino, chia… You fine die, you fine pass queen of England.
Albino: abegii.. Shift joor.
Me: this one you remember me today, I go make heaven if na so.
Albino: you dey fine talk, wetin you cook? *she enter inside the kitchen
Me: nothing oh, cook for us na.
Albino: I resemble your wife, see your mouth like cook for us talking from the kitchen
Me: you know iffa I go marry you after you cook for me, nodey open pots like that. Na bachelor kitchen be that oh, and those pots are liable to rape.
She returned to the bedroom were I was lying on the bed with just boxer, with a glass of juice in her hand.
Albino: na only wetin you sabi, sx and rape always on your mind, you nofit cook.
Me: you don see am na, this one you no wear bra. Hope am safe?
Albino: you be learner?
Me: yes na, am a virgin in the Lord *Albino laughing
Albino: you wey devil don prepare sx room for hell fire, you go manage indomie do the work?
Me: which work?
Albino: go ask Rihanna, my go prepare the noodles.
She entered inside the kitchen and started cooking, I was still thinking on what to tell Albino. Releasing more proteins from my body was not a good option to me at all, a knock landed on my door, at first I was scared it might be Beauty.
One mind was telling me to inform Albino to lie that she is my sister, I do not want to die young.
I kicked against that thought and went ahead opening the door that the person at the door knocked incessantly.
Me: break the door, say your papa na carpenter.
Voice: open door joor *I open it
Me: Victory, mumu boy, how far?
Victory: I just dey na, you nodey reason your twin bro.
Me: no be so, bro. Na hustle ’cause am oh, come inside. Who give you the address?
Victory: na Biggy.
Me: Biggy don join press men we enter inside the bedroom
We were discussing when Albino brought two plates filled with noodles, the smell of the food was unusual and I was suspecting she added weed to the indomie.
Victory: pretty, you are so beautiful, bro na your babe be this?
Me: no oh, na my best friend.
Albino: thank you.
Me: babe meet my twin brother.
Albino: ona be twin, why you come black em come fair?
Me: when you see my mama ask her, I dey come my go buy sth.
Victory: I wan eat oh, this food go sweet die.
Albino: this food na for people wey wan do work.
Me: no worry make ona two eat first, my go buy tools for the work.
I signaled my brother to handle her on my behalf, I used my eyes and directed him to where condoms are kept in my room.
I came out and called Biggy line, it rang twice before he picked.
Biggy: oboy, where you dey? low voice
Me: you dey talk like person wey get accident, I dey come your house right away.
Biggy: accident kill you there, I just return from sx hospital. Abeg, come quick quick, before man pikin die.
I ended the call and walked out to the open street through the gate, I was waiting for a car when I saw Chichi crossing the road to come and meet me.
I pretended that I did not see her and flagged down a taxi, and the idiot driver did not stop immediately.
Chichi: Victor! Wait for me… *walking towards me
Me: Chi the heavy duty, cause trouble she beam with her heavy gap teeth
Chichi: you just dump your gal, where you dey live now na, I be come check you for that yard you been dey live before.
Driver: oga, you still dey go? smiling like otondo
Me: no, I don park for that side since na. pretending not to hear the driver
Chichi: you dey live here? the driver jejely move his car
Me: no, I dey live for Kingdom their side now. Make we talk later, I wan go see my aunty wey get accident for hospital, give me your number my call you?
Chichi: no, give me your own she bring out her phone
Me: thank God my phone is on silence 08041966600, my phone dey for charge.
Chichi: okay, the thing dey ring, no forget to call me oh I nod
I gave her Beauty phone number, she left and I took a taxi down to my former yard were Biggy now stays.
The children of the yard ran towards me, immediately they saw me.
Children: brother! Brother!! Brother!!!
Me: children! Children!! Children!!!
Children: yes, uncle!!! they start laughing
Me: make ona share this money.
I gave them Nigeria highest currency and left them fighting over it, I was shocked to see a girl foot wear on the door post of Biggy’s room.
Voice: come in…
I recognized the voice immediately and entered, I met the girl that was at Kelly’s house.
She wore only a bumshort and bra, pressing her phone on the bed.
Me: fine babe, what of Biggy?
Girl: em dey wash clothes for backyard.
Me: thank you.
I left the room and went to the backyard, I saw Biggy drying a girl’s p*nt and bra on the rope.
Me: wetin happen? Biggy! wetin happen?
Biggy: very busy washing guy wait small abeg, remain small I don wash finish.
Me: na village and city people combine do you this thing, hiiiiaaaa… I dey see you dey wash pant oh.
Biggy: em no matter na, las las no be me go smell and shift am, I love to wash what I use.
Me: I don see am like that, you don dey wear pant too? I no blame you. washing of pant is now your hobby.
Biggy: am madly in love with this girl, bro.. I can die for her, I can even kill anyone for her I shift small first
Me: is that so?
The backyard window was pushed open and it gave way to the face of the girl I saw in Biggy’s room earlier.
Girl: drop what you are washing and come inside to prepare a meal for me.
Biggy: yes my love the girl eye me up and down, then hiss
Biggy ran inside the yard shouting like a demented goat chased by ten thousand hungry pythons.
Biggy: am in love jumping and shouting
Me: n wa o, this is wonderful… Biggy is wonderfool.
Me: my commot here, before I sign for slavery.
I quickly followed the backyard and came out on the tarred road, I did not bother saying goodbye to Biggy because of the Karashika with him. I was still walking towards the main road, when I sighted Ekpemaetor entering the street I was.
I quickly hid myself in a shop along the road.
Ekpemaetor is the area ‘owe me die’ he is a PHD holder in borrowing, he borrows from anybody and anytime, he owes 80% of people living in this area.
Immediately he walked pass the shop, I came out quickly.
Me: hey, Owe me die he want to run but change his mind ’cause we are close
Ekpemaetor: Victor my man, fine boy. Shake me hand first.
Me: I wan shake your pocket i start searching his trouser pocket
Ekpemaetor: guy free me na, no be only you I dey owe na.
Me: that one concern ona, I don tuwama with my own money.
I was not comfortable about Biggy’s situation, I returned to the house when the sun has left the sky.
I saw my brother sleeping with his dck inside Albino’s mouth. Who was also sleeping, I shook my head.
I cooked and ate, then bath. Albino was to wake up first, before she waked up my brother.
Albino: thieves!! *she shout all of a sudden
Me: where you see thief?
Victory: bro, wetin you dey enjoy na?
Me: expired weed and r2.
Albino: wetin be r2?
Victory: em mean the girl own.
Victory and Albino ate together, and he escorted her to get a taxi. I could not leave the room ’cause I was thinking of a way to help my friend.
My twin brother came back and met me in deep thought,
Victory: this one you dey think like married man with six children, wetin happen?
Me: Biggy don turn house boy.
Victory: why em come go apply for that kind of job?
Me: this one pass president servant, the problem here be say. Them nodey pay am anything.
Victory: you no mean am?
Me: I resemble AY, Biggy don go eat chop and mumu. As we dey talk now, Biggy dey wash toto with omo and soap.
Victory: chisos! Chisos!! You know say na our guy, where em go see that gal sef?
Me: na Kelly oh, na em go give am that witch.
Victory: make we go jazzy Kelly, em go give us solution.
Me: no be today, na tomorrow.
After we played PS4, we decided to sleep with the thought of us visiting Kelly after I returned from work the next day.
I was sleeping when I dreamt, I saw myself walking n_ked on a bushy footpath.
I started hearing a loud voice from behind…
Voice: stop! Victor, do not go?
I looked back and saw no one, again I turned to walk to the direction I was and the other voice kept on calling out to me…
A girl with a gun stood before me.
Girl: you betray me, and cheat on me. I will kill you!
Me: no! Please do not kill me, I love you.
She shot me twice and I woke up drenched with sweats. Shouting…
I knelt down and prayed over two hours, I have never in my life be so scared of dying.
Me: who wan kill man pikin, now that am enjoying my life.
I felt thirsty, so I visited the kitchen and drank one cup of water.
Me: na wa oohh… Small enjoyment kingdom of darkness will start running upadan to kill somebody.
Sleep was not an option so I busied myself on my study desk reading and doing research. When the time was 4am, I took my bath and prepared for work. I was a bit nervous, I pray I do things right.
Around 4:20am, I left my room for work.
Luckily for me I took a taxi plying the road after I beat up Musa before he opened the gate, he sleeps like someone who has been carrying trailer.
I paid the taxi driver who only had me and one other elderly man as his passengers that morning, after he dropped me at the gate. Surprisingly the gate was open, I just entered.
Me: my eyes dey worry me, Abigail!
She turned with a surprise look, she sure do recognized my voice I grinned from ear to ear. She was hugging herself, as she stood before the security checking point.
Abigail: Vic, you are early.
Me: very early, why are you here?
Abigail: came to supervise supply shivering
Me: cold dey finish my love I hug her tight and refuse to let go
Abigail: I never knew I needed that.
Me: you never can tell, my shift my hand small she punch me playfully
Abigail: bad pikin her pidgin was struggling
We stayed like that for awhile, before a thought came to my mind.
Me: why did not you, let your dad the director to do it?
Abigail: he is not my dad, he is just my uncle managing my dad’s industry am safe fah!
Me: visit me na! Please na!! Before you go na!!! Abigail laughing
Abigail: why so many na in your pleading, I will think about it. I may come, so… Close early.
Workers started arriving, she left after a brief chat with me. We were given the necessary training, the place for work smelt like hell. I would have quit right away if I had a choice, after the tutorial tour. I was stationed to a specific duty, mixing of chemical.
I was introduced to few apparatus that I have read in the books but have not seen them, after a brief trial. I was bailed out to start work tomorrow,
I did not eat anything. So, I was very hungry and I started seeing everybody as food, I cursed the instructors for not giving us a break.
I was in a taxi and my stomach was singing songs, in between two slayqueens.
Slayqueen1: oga, why you dey look me like say I be food no lies, she resemble fried rice
Me: no vex, you just too fine like fried rice.
Slayqueen: oga na wow for you oh, hope say you get money sha… who call you?
Me: no worry, you be stew rice. I nodey chop stew rice. she is even chewing gum like prostitute
I ignored both of them and concentrated on my ordeal, I was shifting uncomfortably moving the angry worms eating up my stomach walls.
I jumped down from the taxi immediately I got to my gate..
Driver: oga, my money! I never pay, chaii
Me: oga no vex i give him 5h
Driver: your change.
Me: keep the change no be my mind sha… To prevent insult
I ran pass Musa, and knocked repeatedly on my protector.
Musa: kai! Me dey catch am for shit!?
Me: Musa, my brother dey inside house?
Musa: yes oh.. Me dey hear am for hadar, f–k me me.. For inside.
He came out with sleepy face and unlocked the protector for me, I briskly walked pass him and settled with a plate of rice that I dished for myself in the kitchen.
After I swallowed 7 spoons in a split of a minute, I drank one bottle of water.
When my stomach has settled, I moved myself with the precious plate of rice to the bedroom.
The room was having foul smell, Musa was not actually lying.
Me: why here dey smell sprm sprm and toto water?
Victory: smiling like Okafor oboy, Ada sweet oh.
Me: you know say she don marry? her husband na millitant oh.
Victory: no mother force.
Me: I don hear you, when I rest finish we go enter Kelly house.
After I was done eating, I took my bath and rested for awhile before we left for Kelly’s house.
We dropped at Kelly street from a taxi, me and Victory.
Victory: no be Tracy be that? pointing across the road
She stood before the car’s driver seat talking with the car owner, I did not see her face but that Shape was that of Tracy.
Me: na she oohh, the witch have die in my hand today.
Victory: wetin she do?
Me: forget about question now, help me scatter this girl show. I go tell you later.
We quickly crossed the road, we were very closed to the car when Tracy looked back and saw me. She became scared, “you never see anything”
Tracy: baby, you can now go. I will come to your house later go to where?
Me: Tracy! Tracy! Where is my money, cheap ashawo!?
Victory: bro, na the girl be this? after you f–k am finish. She take your money run.
Me: yes na, wey she get stretch mark for left brast, she sabi swallow sprm.
Tracy: excuse me, who are you people?
Tracy bf: what is the meaning of this, Tracy?
Me: the meaning be say, after I f–k your girlfriend anyhow. She get mind thief my money, after she tell me say nobody don f–k am like me.
Tracy: baby, he is lying crying
Victory: em dey lie now, when you dey shout give it to me hrder and faster, em no lie oh *thumbs up
Tracy bf: how come he knows you have stretch mark on your left brast?
Me: ohooo! Ask am o.
Tracy: he is just guessing, no no.. He is my jealous ex boyfriend.
Victory: he is now your ex boyfriend now?
Me: you don know me ba, guy leave this ashawo.. She get hiv.
Tracy bf: don’t ever dare call me, if I see your both legs in my house. I will release my bull dogs for you *he ignite the engine and put the car in motion
Tracy: please… Baby! I love you, please.
Victory: eyaaa.. Lover girl Tracy running after the car
Me: first to do, nodey pain. Second to do ehnn… Tracy, ntooor!!
Immediately we accomplished our mission, I and my brother disappeared from the scene. People were now coming out wondering why Tracy is ranting like an injured dog, we find our way to Kelly’s house.
We took a curve ’cause Kelly’s house is in east ward block, we were still walking on the road when a girl…
Girl: good evening.
Me & Victory: Evening. she walk pass us vibrating her *ss more, we both turn at a time to witness it
Victory: that kind small girl carry that kind big thing for back, na weapon of mass destruction if she grow oh.
Me: na those ones wey her nyash big pass her destiny be that, bro. You try for me oh.
Victory: you sabi scatter relationship oh both of us start laughing
Me: put legs for ground, make we go jassle Kelly before the idiot go run.
We reached Kelly house and we knocked, he opened the door wearing just boxer.
Kelly: Vicko… The twin don remember me today.
Me: Kello… This one you dey boxer, hope say you nodey knack sha.
Victory: make we enter inside na, this sun dey fry brain.
We went inside and Kelly offered us drinks, we refused to touch the drink.
Me: wetin be the name of the witch you carry give Biggy?
Kelly: you mean Chioma, na God safe me oh! I for don die by now.
Victory: you don turn Biggy to woman wrapper, Biggy don graduate from women washing undies university with distinction.
Kelly: em don reach that level?
Me: your head dey pain you? Em don pass sef. The girl get remote for Biggy.
Kelly: except say, we go go fine person wey go f–k her. If she like the person, she go release Biggy as she release me.
Victory: nobody wey no go fear for free sx oh.
Me: no worry, all those park boys wey sprm don full their body. Dey even fine to f–k devil daughter, we go just select the biggest d*ck dash am.
Kelly: make we enter park go fine na, make em try fine small oh. She nogo gree for burnt offering oh.
Victory: no worry, we go select one wey fine give her. After em massacre her toto, she go free Biggy.
Me: oya na, come make we go… I get visitor, Kello we go enter park together na, tomorrow.
I and Victory left the room, Kelly escorted us down to the gate. He left us and we both entered the open street, we were gisting and talking when we sighted Tracy with four macho guys approaching us.
Me: bro, you dey see wetin I dey see?
Victory: yes, you wan wait to fight?
Me: I dey craze, apply speedometer without break.
We took to our heels and the hefty men with Tracy pursued after us, their heavy foot-falls shook the ground threatening earthquake, I ran like never before.
I do not imagine myself in any other place apart from mortuary if those guys lay their hands on us.
Luckily we saw a taxi and flagged it down, the driver examined us. We were breathing heavily like people escaping death. We were escaping death sha…
Me: oga, junction how much? Just there…
Me & Victory: one thousand! Na plane?
Driver: ona dey go or not?
Our pursuers foot-falls stamped on the ground like racing gorillas.
Voices: make ona stop there! We go kill ona today! Ona dey challenge area bone breakers thick bass
Me & Victory: we dey go, abeg oh! we enter the car
Me: oga, start this car na.
Driver: ona never pay na.
Victory: take take!! * he receive the money*
Our pursuers were closing in when the driver ignite the engine and put the car in motion, he sped towards East and we lost our pursuers.
He got to the junction and slow down the car, he pulled over.
Driver: make ona come down, we don reach junction?
Me: is your brain aware of what you are saying?
Victory: if you no move this car now, now! I go kill you here oh!
Me: oga recite the Lord’s prayer.
Driver: ona nofit do anything, make ona come down!
Victory: you wan go or not?
Driver: I nodey go anywhere.
Me: you wan know say kingdom of God dey suffer violence?
Driver: ona be devil oh! Make ona carry ona body commot from my car na.
My twin brother came down and went to the driver seat window, he snatched the key from the driver. And I also came down, we went towards the busy road as the driver of the car that dropped us earlier chased after us.
Driver: bring my key! Hey!! Hey!!!
Victory: our 1k.
Me: no do wetin I go shake all the bones commot from your body oh.
Driver: ona be devil oh, bring my key! We go fight oh.
Victory: sas you dey, bone bone… No flesh, commot your hand from my shirt before I change am for you.
Driver: I nodey gree, my car key.
People were looking at us like demented people, as everyone mind their business in city.
Is only a well dressed man with bible that walked to us…
Preacher man: why are you people fighting?
Me: fight ke! If i descend on this man, na 8feet em go dey na.
Driver: them don collect my car key, i go call police for them oh.
Victory: bring our 1k.
Preacher man: money and cars are all vanity, please brethren… Seek the kingdom of God, and there is no space for fighters.
Me: we don hear you, oya na. Give us the 1k, so that we go return the key.
Driver: oga I know you oh, why you dey collect offering if money na vanity?
Preacher: the bible says bring the first fruit of your labor, even in Malachi.. He will open windows of blessing.
I deep my hand inside the driver pocket and dragged out the 1k, my brother gave the key back to him not without a fight.
Driver: ona be thief!! shouting
Preacher man: repent oh sinners, turn away from Babylon.
Conductor: going! Psst!! Ona dey go?
We took the bus and left the driver with the preacher man behind, I could not wait to get home and changed my wet shirt with sweats. We arrived at the gate and I met Musa smiling at me from his doorpost.
Me: why you dey smile like roast goat?
Victory: I wan even ask am.
Musa: ehnn… Kai! Somebody come check am for you, she pine well well.
I quickly brought out my phone, did not know it was on silent all along.
I checked missed calls and I saw two missed calls from Beauty and that is the only missed calls I had, my mind started beating like warrior drum.
We went inside, and I tried her number twice before she finally picked up.
Me: hello, baby.. My sweet heart.
Beauty: don’t sweet heart me, where did you go to?
Me: I went to a friend house.
Beauty: I came to your house and I did not see you, I was missing your dck *thank God you no see me oh
Me: me too baby, please can you come back?
Beauty: no, I will not… Are you cheating on me Vic?
Me: God no go gree..
Beauty: so why were you not picking or you were with your useless girlfriend.
Me: I did not know my phone was on silence, if no be you. No one else my baby.
Beauty: make sure, I do not catch you with those useless little girls. I will cut off your manhood and feed the girl to vultures she hiss
And rudely ended the call, i felt my g—n with my palm to make sure it was still intact. I uncladded myself and took my bath after my twin brother, we were playing ps when a knock landed on the protector.
I stood up quickly, and lo and behold Abigail was the one looking extremely gorgeous beaming like the sun behind the protector.
Me: you came? smiling
Abigail: before giggling
Abigail: I hug her tight you will just kill somebody’s child.
Me: sorry, I cannot help it. You are so pretty.
Abigail: thank you.
We went inside together, the moment we entered the room. Victory’s eyes left the television and focused on Abigail.
Me: Abigail meet my twin brother Victory and Victory meet Abigail with one breathe
Victory: oh! Where did you get this pretty one born once in 20 thousand decades coming to shake her, i grab his hand
Me: no try am, just park your load and vamoose.
Victory: na wa for you oh, welcome our brother wife walking towards the door
Abigail: your twin is so sweet.
Me: you never can tell, what should I offer you?
Abigail: just water, dear.
Me: I dey craze, you must chop the food I cook today, by force and fire Abigail laughing
I went to the kitchen and returned with a plate of rice, the door pushed open and Victory came in looking worried. My heart beat rate increased…
Victory: bro, my charger don blow, help me with your charger I exhale heavy breathe
Me: na charger make you look like say somebody die for your family?
Victory: na wetin Nigeria economy don turn person to, wey your charger. Abigail laughing
Me: see am there…
Abigail: you guys are very funny em get why
He left us in peace with my charger, I was eyeing my charger as he left with it. Is not everyday someone gets an original charger when you live close to Abia State, I arranged the table and placed it on the feet of Abigail. She was forming or should I say she is shy…
Me: eat na, the food will get cold.
Abigail: I told you, am not hungry.
Me: okay oh, is like you want me to feed you like my baby she start blushing
Abigail: no, please covering her face
I dug the spoon inside the heap rice on the breakable plate, took the spoon filled with rice to her mouth.
Me: aaahhhh.. Eat.
Abigail: no, oh!
Me: if you hate me don’t eat she remove her hands on her face, she open her mouth and eat from the spoon
Abigail: umhh.. You try.
Me: na lie joor.. Ama good cook right from my mama womb. Abigail laughing
Abigail: you are not serious, this should be the last spoon.
Me: last spoon ke, you need the whole plate and even more for the upcoming match.
Abigail: you are not serious, what match? giggling
Me: you will soon find out? I wink at her
I was gisting and feeding her she did not realize when she almost finished the plate of rice.
Abigail: oh my God, you have over feed me. Please, am not eating anymore.
Me: the food is so tasty, your eyes were telling me don’t stop.
Abigail: naughty, boy.
I cleared the plate and came back, I started a pillow fight and she joined me. Her laughter was full of life, that I felt guilty of going down with her.
We cuddled and played for a long time, she lay on my chest while I played with her hairs.
She has already said I want to go thrice already and made no effort to go.
Abigail: Vic, I want to go home.
Abigail: is getting late and I will be travelling tomorrow.
Me: are you sure? she nods
Her eyes were sending ‘kiss me signal’, I lowered my lips to her’s and she accepted it wholeheartedly. As we both suck from our mouth, I held her gown zip and lowered it down. Just a snap I unhook her bra…
Abigail: you are just a bad boy, it takes me two minutes to get that on.
Me: bad boy for only you.
Abigail: hmm.. I hear you.
The kiss became demanding as I hover my hands all over her, she step down from the bed and pulled off her gown, she remained only on her pnt.
I could not stop admiring her beautiful structure and flawless skin, her round firm brasts stood so inviting on her chest.
She joined me on the bed and I off her pnt, I laid her on the bed and spread legs.
I wanted to eat her wt pssy she held me my head..
Abigail: what are you doing?
Me: I want to taste you.
Abigail: okay… *covering her pssy*
Me: remove your hands na chuckling
Abigail: hmm.. Okay.
She did, and the moment I ran my tongue on her crack she shook. I had to held her in place as she grabbed my sheet and wiggled beneath, her eye balls already rolled off.
She was speaking in many languages, after she squirted. I pulled off my boxer and my dck sprang out pointing gingerly at her.
Abigail: chisos! What is that?
Me: my dck na..
Abigail: is so big, will it enter… I have just done it once oohh.
Me: it will.
She covered her face with her palms and curled her feet, as I readied myself to pnetrate into her.
Slowly slowly I was inside her, I moved on her slowly as she scratched her nails on my back.
I kept on fcking her slowly as we kiss and made love…
Abigail: jeezz.. Ooohh.. Aaahhh, you are so good.. I love you.
Me: aaahhh.. Oohh i love you more.
As I was expecting my c—-x, I increased my thrsting pace and slammed hard into her as we screamed down the roof with our mans.
Me: aahh ahhh ahhh, ammmmm cummmiiinngg..
Abigail: ossshhh cccummm iiinn aaahh me…
I spurted my whole load inside her as she welcomed it with her o—-m, she shook violently beneath me. I disengaged when she was calm and give a sxual satisfaction sigh.
She slept off without a word, I took my bath and headed to kitchen to prepare soup.
I came back to see her awake.
Abigail: you are just too good *she kiss
Me: another round, you will ride me this time around.
Abigail: not me and you, I cannot ride that thing oh. Go and reduce it. both us laughing
She went to the bathroom and had her bath, I went to call my brother. We both came back to see her dress, she insist on going rather than stay for dinner.
I walked her to the gate battling with my conscience, she stopped abruptly before her.
Abigail: do you really really love me?
Me: ofcourse, I do.
Abigail: do you have a girlfriend?
Me: yes, and it is just you.
Abigail: I love you, bye and take care of yourself for me. she kiss me
She entered her car and drove out, she is so sweet and charming. But Beauty is not of this world, the thought of cheating or being a player made me feel uncomfortable as I stood and waved till she drove out of the premises.
I had a call from strange number, I looked around suspiciously before picking the call..
Me: hello, who be this?
Voice: who be this kill you there!
I removed the phone from my ear and looked at the screen, it must be those stupid kids that guess number just to insult someone, lazy youth.
Me: your brain don rust? I nodey sell grease oh.
Voice: Vic, shut up! Is me Victoria.
Me: chiaaa!! Aaahhh!! Aunty Vy Vy!
Voice: aunty Vy Vy break your prck there, I be your aunty and I open legs you gree enter.
Me: no vex na, you never still change at all… I dey miss you die oh.
Voice: miss ke, you wey no gree come my wedding. You nodey gree reply whatsapp messages sef, and your fb account nodey active.
Me: them thief my phone then, and I no know about the wedding. I been dey fine your number but aunty Ruth don park go where I no know, chaii… You don marry? Who see you marry?
Voice: *laughing mumu boy, I don born sef.
Me: chaaiii… Congratulations, I dey see your husband spirit dey cry, you wey sabi worry.
Voice: I don repent na, I even win best wife and mother of last year. Come see my baby, she don grow sef.
Me: this one you dey invite me, hope say em no resemble me sha..
Voice: your brain dey pain you, I go send you address for whatsapp.
Me: okay, I go try come.
Voice: commot try, iffa no see you. I go vex oh… Bye.
She ended the call, I went inside smiling reminiscing on the past that connect Victoria and I. Victoria was a nurse that lived in my area while I was still in my Sss3, she was very fond of me then and she took me as her house son.
I was a saint then, the little I knew about sx then was prn and msturbation, have never done anything until Victoria discovered that I have never had sx.
She only said she will make me a man someday, it was house son house son she shifted my boxer.
I went inside and met Victory eating the soup I prepared…
Me: oboy, them said you?
Victory: no vex, hungry wan finish me.
Me: you still go nyash Ada.
Victory: how you take know?
Me: them print am for your forehead, make that man no discover oh.
I washed my hands and joined him, we finished the food.
After few rounds of game, I took my bath and slept off.
The next morning I went to work, I worked very hard just to meet up time to visit Park with Victory and Kelly.
2pm, I round up my duties and took permission from the director, he granted it with favor, am suspecting Abigail sha…
I was short of cash and I branched a bank close to my work place, I was seeing four people before me until…
Man: em don start to pay he scream happily
Woman: oga, you dey do like woman, why you tell them?
‘Them’ I did not understand the them until I started seeing people coming from different directions.
Me: na wa oh!
Voices: oga you dey my front! Respect yourself oh, you don old!! Foolish man, shift!!! Taahh! You dey my back.
After they are done arranging themselves, that is when I knew there are invincible six in the queue of four people I saw earlier.
The bank was only bank in that area, I waited patiently under the sun for hours before it remained just two people before me, one stood in the atm machine making withdrawal while the other stood on the queue.
Man 1: oga, you dey waste time oh. Na ATM machine not compute game.
Me: make this man do, commot na.
I looked behind me and saw that the population has increased, I caught sight of Ogechi.
A gal I was head over kneels then, after I told her that I don’t need sx from her but love.
Did not realize I was dating myself for over six Months, till I visited her and caught her red-handed with a boy on her.
I peeped through window sha… ‘Cause no one was responding to the door, I faced forward and pretended not to see her.
A soft tap landed on my back, I turned.
Ogechi: Vic, you just forgot about me?
Me: Do I know you?
Ogechi: is me na, Ogechi *beaming
Me: chaii.. Ogechi, you don fine scatter ground finish, where you dey live now na?
Ogechi: na for this area na, help me make withdrawal.
Me: no problem, wetin be your pin?
Ogechi: **** 20k, thank you honey she peck me
Me: no problem hahaha
Man2: don’t insult me youngman! Do you know who I am? I will just lock you up.
Man1: oga shift, who you be?!
Me: oga, go withrawl na. You dey waste time oh.
He left for the ATM machine and left the other man ranting beside me, after he was done with his withdrawal he came out and both of them continued.
I went to the ATM machine and slotted in my card, and made a withdrawal.
They came out, Ogechi rushed me immediately smiling.
Ogechi: how far, you don help me withdrawl?
Me: them write insufficient balance, I no withdrawl am.
Ogechi: I get 90k na, how manage?
Me: em fit be network, where you dey stand? she point back back
Ogechi: person go sleep for where…
Me: ehyaa… We go see na, I dey in a hurry.
I left the bank premises and took a taxi, I placed a call to Victory.
Me: where ona dey?
Victory: come meet us for Biggy house, we don see person.
Me: ona sabi rush oh, I dey come.
Victory: come quick oh.
He ended the call, I flagged down a taxi and entered.
Asked him to take me direct to Biggy’s yard, before an hour I arrived there and met Kelly with Victory standing outside the yard, with one rugged guy that his lips spoke volume of weed was here.
Kelly: guy you waste time oh.
Me: why ona dey wait here, what is the challenge?
Park guy: wey the toto wey dey make mouth, my show am say p—k get sizes, my blood dey hot. Ona dey waste time.
Victory: I trust you Kelly and I, walk away from were both of them stand
Me: na the burnt offering be that?
Kelly: carry your voice down, we need to carry Biggy commot from the room.
Me: na small challenge be that.
I scrolled through my contact list and find Chidi’s number, I placed a call to him.
Chidi was once recruited into state government baby police scheme, till the governor dissolved them.
Me: Chidi, how far na?
Chidi: I dey oh, anything for your guy?
Me: money dey ground, your police uniform still dey?
Chidi: yes na, who you wan scam?
Me: scam kill you there, you fit lap where I dey stay?
Chidi: we go charge you 10k as my guy oh, I go bring another person.
Me: just come first… I dey wait, no waste time.
I ended the call…
We went to were Victory and the guy they brought from the park stood, he already lit cigarette and started dragging smoke releasing it to the air afterwards.
I examined the guy and he looked good, the blueprint must have been Kelly and Victory.
Park guy: wey the toto na? Ona pay me to stand? cigarette bass
Me: oga chill, just wait small.
After some minutes Chidi arrived with another guy with police uniform, I went to meet them and we shook hands.
Me: Chiko! You look so officer, sure sir!!
Chidi: see why thunder go fire you, wetin be the deal?
Me: you nodey use money play o.
Chidi friend: make ona do na, before people go suspect.
Me: you carry your kinsman too, you know that my guy Biggy?
Chidi: that one I see you with that day?
Me: you get am, enter that my room. You go see am with one girl, arrest am.
Chidi: no issues, wey the money?
Me: you never do the work na.
Chidi: you wan use my head, pay before service or I go waka jeje.
Me: hiss collect, you love money pass your wife womb.
Chidi: counting the money em remain 1k to complete.
Me: i go balance you after the job he shake his head oya take na.
Chidi: is complete, officer Abuchi!!
Abuchi: yes, sir!
Chidi: lets go…
Both of them went inside the yard, while I waited alongside the trio I was with earlier. After some minutes they came out with Biggy from the other entrance and we all went inside.
I trust Chidi, the one he way he was forcing Biggy like an officer ehnn… Fear those who has undergo police training in Nigeria.
We got to the door and Kelly held back the guy…
Kelly: as you just enter, start to n_ked yourself.
Park guy: na wetin dey my mind sef, my p—k dey stand since weed oh
Kelly: no f–k up oh, f–k her like say her pssy na em make you poor *he nod and head to the door
Me: Kelly mad oh!
Victory: what if the girl see am shout rape, I go just run leave ona.
Kelly: she nofit see dck reject.
Voice: who are you, and what are you doing here?
Park guy: na me be the person wey go scatter your toto.
Voice: what! Ooohh.. Is so big!!
Me: the thing don click oh, Victory carry Biggy go Kelly house I no want em wahala for now. Hungry dey catch me, I dey enter house… My call Chidi to bring am back.
I placed a call to Chidi while I was walking out of the yard.
Me: Chiko, bring am back.
Chidi: your guy dey vomit something wey dey like water water.
Me: after em don vomit finish, bring am come yard back.
Chidi: okay na.
I ended the call and picked bike, I took carb heading to my house.
I was so stressed out, I took my bath and ate then slept off.
My phone ringing tone woke me up…
Me: aunty Vicky, good evening?
Victory: you don see the address I send for your whatsapp.
Me: no, I never enter whatsapp. Which side you dey live?
Victory: I dey live for Ojoto junction.
Me: em no far from here, my baf come.
Victory: I dey wait for you oh, no fall my brasts oh.
Me: na your husband go do that one laughing
I ended the call and dressed up, I did a make over and went outside the gate, I saw a taxi and flagged down. It was already getting late.
Me: driver Ojoto.
Driver: you get change?
I did not check the people that were in the car, I just balanced inside.
After some minutes I looked around to see the passengers around me, I saw three other rugged guys.
I became scared…
Me: Driver, abeg drop me for here… I nodey go again.
Driver: you don already enter. i face the other guys in the taxi
Me: make ona see wahala oh, I no wan go again. Make ona help me beg the driver.
One of them sprayed sth on my face and I lost consciousness, I woke up to see myself tied to a chair, I could feel it but could not see anything ’cause I was blindfolded.
The blindfold was removed and I saw Tracy standing before smirking…
Me: aunty Tracy.
Tracy: you don add aunty to my name? laughing wickedly
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