Story: Toto Pass Toto (21+)… Episode 51 – 59
TOTO PASS TOTO 21+
Subtitle: F–k Mark Z.
–Toto Pass Toto Episode 51
That is how the girl mind her business, I didn’t let the man wearing cap with my shoes leave my view.
I kept an eye on him, tapping my feet waiting patiently for him to drop from the bus so that I can descend on him and tear him into shreds.
Man: driver, I wan drop here with thick bass, my heart nearly escape from me
Me: I wan drop here too Biggy’s house is not too far but walkable
Conductor: oga, I think say na Ekimini junction you wan drop?
Me: I no wan go that side again.
I jumped down quickly and traced my shoe as the driver of the bus sped off the conductor was calling passengers to enter.
I ran towards the feet wearing my shoe and tapped the man madly at his back.
Me: oga, wetin happen, pull my shoe! I yell behind him
Man: na me you dey talk to?
He turned around facing me, he removed the cap on his shining head like it was scrapped with broken bottle and creamed with groundnut oil.
My throat went dried, as his cheekbones rises like bulldog wanting to bite off someone’s trouser.
Me: senior man, good morning.
Man: you never answer me! Why you touch me, which shoe?! he bark at me
Me: senior man no vex, your shoe fine well well. he grab my collar with his hand and squeeze it
Man: na em make you dey tap tap me anyhow, you nodey fear? he shouted his eyes bloodshot
Me: no vex oh! I dey fear you. he grab my throat
Man: you want my kill you?!
Water have pass garri, I started begging. People were minding their business, as they walked past us without even glancing or wanting to hear what was happening, they are just going about their business.
The more I begged the man, is the more he became more aggressive.
A beautiful girl walked pass, I had to hold her by her wrist so that she will stop and beg on my behalf before the man beat me up for my shoe too.
Me: sister, abeg… Help me beg my senior man make em pity me seeing how serious I am, she consider
Man: you nodey fear face! Iffa sand you now wetin you go do?! spitting at me, I have to endure
Me: senior man, I nofit do anything. I be your boy, pity me.
The girl just walked close to him and rubbed his back, his eyes soften.
He started calming down slowly, his face squeezed like someone that is about to cm.
Fine babe: boo, just leave him. You are bigger than this. *that speech alone format his brain, he start laughing for no reason
Man: na because of you oh!! he release me from his hold
Me: senior man thank, aunty thank you.
I quickly disappeared from that scene as fast as my legs could carry me, I bought a sachet of pure water that a young girl was hawking on the street, I tore it open and started scking the sachet pure water like brasts before four minutes, I emptied the sachet of pure water and threw it away.
A beautiful car slowed down and parked ahead of me, I didn’t recognize the car so I just continued walking till I heard a voice calling my attention from behind.
I looked back and met Samuel, one idiot that thought I stole his girlfriend some years ago, which I did not.
I hissed and continued trekking, she drove slowly moving alongside me.
His side mirror was lowered, his face looked amusing.
Samuel: my guy, how you dey suffer? I ignore my guy, you don join trekkers association, them don promote you as chairman bah? I ignore the sun don make you deaf?! laughing
Me: na under this kind hot sun I bang your girlfriend anyhow, my dck too sweet na em make she dump you, you nodey complete for your legs side.
He got angry and parked his car, I didn’t bother looking back, I went my own.
I felt a sharp pain behind my back as he landed a hard punch on my back, I staggered forward and turned. His blows were positioned properly to attack me, he stood firm waiting for my reaction.
Me: you dey fine who go kill you, tell them say you no see me *I turn and continue walking jeje
Samuel: you nofit do anything, stand as man face me. I go beat you turn turn for here.
I gave him the best tablet for a fool silence and continued going on my way, he ran towards me with his feet making lot of sounds as he charged behind me to punch me again.
I shifted aside quickly, he lost balance as he forced himself forward.
I pushed him so hard that he went ahead and hugged a soldier man from behind who was talking to a girl, that is what Jesus meant by “it is finished”.
I did not know how I did it, and did not know what I did, I find myself in another street almost close to Biggy’s house breathing heavily.
I went directly at his door and knocked, I started hearing loud manings from inside.
I knocked harder, infact… I used my two hands in the process so that they will hear the sounds.
Biggy: who be that madman?!
Me: na me Victor, open door I wan enter.
Biggy: enter to do wetin?
Voice: baby am tired, you love sx too much.
Biggy: is just the fourth round na, abeg.. Lets just do small again.
I knocked harder even kicking the door, he was still begging but the girl did not agree.
I didn’t stop knocking the door.
Biggy: wetin be your own, them untie you from chains before you come here?
Me: oh girl no gree oh! Em go only expand your toto. Las las em no go gree marry you.
Voice: Biggy will you marry me?
Biggy: yes na, you know I love you so much.
Me: no gree oh! Why em no engage you for the first round. Em dey gear four now, if em enter gear five em go say em no want again, no gree oh!
Biggy: you be wizard oh! Them send you for this hot sun?
Me: sister, kingdom of hell is real oh!hell fire dey real, that guy go only destroy your pssy, em no go ever marry you.
Voice: he is saying the truth, leave me alone… All you know is sx sx, look at how you are fcking me like am a whre.
Me: I tell you, wear clothes go your father house oh!
Biggy: Victor! Victor!! How many times I call you? We go put legs for one trouser oh!!
Me: na two times Biggy, them dey f–k person pikin for hot sun like this?
I started hearing foot-falls from inside, I waited patiently at the door for them to come out.
The door opened and I came in face to face with a familiar face.
Me: Felicia! You too!!! *I scream, she cover her face with her palms
-Toto Pass Toto Episode 52
Biggy: why you dey shout like madman wey escape psychia through window? Felicia left hurriedly
Me: how you do am bro?
Biggy: she see aggressive penis, she suji by force.
Me: look at you, you wan use that your short and mighty compare with my long and thick?
Biggy: you be wan f–k am?
Me: yes na, the babe just dey worry area with long skirt. I come chipin am with one or two, she gree to date me if I go follow am dey go fellowship, trust me na… I shun am.
Biggy: naso you take miss the sweet toto my brother.
Me: wetin you mean? Put your nigga through na.
Biggy: na wetin she tell me oh! I agree if she godey come my house to carry me go, after two visits. I tear her pnt, after I give am the first day na so we start to do parte after parte.
Me: chaii… Na so? Wetin you cook.
Biggy: rat and poison.
Me: be serious, hungry dey wire me bad bad.
Biggy: I resemble person wey dey joke?
I hissed and entered the house, after I opened three pots I find spaghetti in one.
I used a big spoon and put many in a breakable plate, took a fork and chop from the plate.
Me: guy na you cook am, the food sweet well well oh!
Biggy: no, na your grandmother resurrect cook am.
Me: person nofit play with you again? You don see my brother?
Biggy: the one wey buy new car? *I squeeze my face
Me: which day?
Biggy: mumu, your brother dey cruise your car like em own, quick die make em inherit am.
Me: make resting thunder roast your burnt lips there.
After I devoured the spaghetti in the plate, I drank a cold glass of water and I felt good, plus wonderful. I picked toothpick from the table and started picking out those stubborn particles, I was ready to leave.
Me: oboy, you don safe a life, thank you.
Biggy: iffa slap your roasted flat nyash, you go run go your house.
Me: I hear you! Abeg, tell my brother in case you see am. Make em arrange my car.
I headed to the main road, stopped a bus and left for my house, on my way I didn’t forget to wave to Samuel who has join frog association, he was asked to jump like frog and he was doing it very well under the supervision of two looking angry men.
I was surprised when I got home and saw my protector open, I knew is either Beauty or Abigail.
So, I quietly entered the house tiptoeing to my bedroom.
I didn’t find anybody.
Someone quietly covered my eyes from behind, ‘this play is expensive’. What if I guessed it wrongly, I inhaled the cologne but didn’t click any memory.
I felt the palm on my face and I realized it is Abigail.
Me: my sweet Abigail.
Abigail: don’t sweet me, you refused to pick and call me she remove her hands on my face and sit on the bed looking upset
Me: you are getting prettier and, those breasts are having more milk oh! The size have increase…
Abigail: shut up joor! Brostitude.
Me: you are not serious I kneel down am sorry, my love.
Abigail: why are you kneeling, please get up you like embarrassing someone.
Me: if you don’t forgive me, I will not get up here.
Abigail: I wasn’t angry at you, I wouldn’t be here if am angry, I really missed you even if you don’t miss me.
Me: thank you I get up and sit beside her, cross my hand across her shoulder you know is not true, I missed you more, I didn’t want to disturb you. I shift my hand a little to touch her brest*
Abigail: she spank my hand remove your hand ashewo, am not here for that.
Me: Abby, hunger will kill your boyfriend oh! You have starved him for long.
Abigail: she start laughing I want to give it to you hot on your birthday, am reserving it till then, my uncle just came back from the state, I want us to visit him together.
Me: lets go….
Abigail: are you sure you are okay with it? I nod
We came out holding hands and headed to her car, immediately we got close to her car she remembered something and faced me.
Abigail: where is your car?
Me: I told you is not my car the other day.
Abigail: oh sorry. thank God for Victory oh!
She drove to her uncle house, am not even suppose to call it a house ’cause is like a little castle.
The gate was made of gold, I wondered why someone spent such money on common gate that will not even protect you from thieves.
Servants were running helter-skelter as Abigail took me in, I was feeling awkward that feeling of poverty meeting rich, shall it was inward my packaging didn’t let me loose guard.
We entered the exotic sittingroom if I call it parlour am insulting some wonders of the world, parlour is a sittingroom with plastic chair and co.
We settled and a servant ran up to call him, a little girl ran down from the staircase and hugged Abigail, why always girl, oh!
Girl: good afternoon, aunty Abigail, good afternoon sir.
Abigail: Ella, your hairs is lovely and you are looking very pretty the little girl blush
Me: afternoon, how are you dear?
Girl: am fine, thank you sir she start whispering to Abigail
Abigail: she start laughing no, he is my boyfriend.
Voice: oh! You are here already.
That is how they start their rich people boring conversation, questioning and answering.
Where are you from bla bla bla….bra, the question he forgot to ask if I have shifted my girlfriend pnt.
After the hot exam, Abigail had an urgent call and we begged for our leave, he requested for a private chat with Abigail.
After they are done we left together.
Abigail drove back to my house, this night my bedsheet must wt if not this girl will not leave oh!
Abigail: did you know what my uncle said about you?
Me: I don’t, please tell me.
Abigail: I will text you and call you, there is emergency in the hospital that demand my immediate presence.
Me: you are not coming in?
Abigail: you and your dck should come down joor *she say playfully, I laugh and drop
Abigail: so you are not going to kiss me?
Me: girls and confusion sorry, ma.
I bent and kissed her cheek, I carried myself inside.
I needed immediate wash, I ran inside the bathroom and switched on the shower, the only sound I heard was wiiiinnnnn… No water, there has not be light since morning and nobody cared to pulp.
I dragged myself and wore a short with t-shirt, I carried a bucket of water and went to a yard close by, after fetching the water, I carried the bucket of water on my head.
I heard a girl singing, I looked at her she is not fine, let me don’t talk.
Girl: nobody ugly oh! about to pour water nobody ugly oh! If you dey for insta, or na 2go. My brother nobody ugly oh!
Me: I hear you, some are wonderfully made while some are fearfully made.
That is how I had a bath before getting to my bathroom, I will kill this girl.
-Toto Pass Toto Episode 53
Girl: sorry oh! Bros em touch you?
Me: your sight go recession?
Girl: eyaaa… Na gutter I think say I pour am oh!
Me: I be gutter for your eyes?
Girl: shooo! Bros, no be so na, na water I pour, you no go just mind your business waka pass, sas the water touch you, eyaaa!!
Voice: Fejiro, na who you dey follow talk?
I adjusted my sight a little so I can see farther, behind the girl who poured me water.
I saw a fat balloon coming towards us, my five in one. With fat face, conclusively fat everything.
Some men can marry sha… She can’t be like this before marriage, it should be after, I wondered who is climbing who?
Fejiro: mama na one fine bobo, I pour am water but I don tell am sorry.
Fat woman: bros oh! Na wetin happen? She never settle you with sorry?
Me: aunty good afternoon..
I just left in peace because they looked like trouble-shooters, luckily for me Musa was at the gate handling chewing stick. No
He saw me and remained in that position he was standing leaning at the gate.
Me: Musa, come do your job?
Musa: oga me ko, kosi. me I nodey do am for me again.
Me: I no ask you to do, come open this gate, before thunder go roast your family members.
Musa: me no go ofina for gate por me, me thunder killam for my family ko? Thunfer fire am for my papa.
Me: amen, come open this gate.
Musa: thunder fry am for my mama.
Me: yes oh! Hallelujah.
Musa: me no go get am for peace.
Me: at all, come open this gate, I go report you to landlord oh!
He still opened the gate cursing himself while I helped him to make it a prayer point, I entered my apartment and headed to the bathroom.
Had my bath and a knock landed on my door with PHCN restoring power.
I rushed to the protector with just towel tied around my waist, I saw Beauty glowing with a sunshade at my doorstep.
Me: my angel, baby you are fine, too fine!
Beauty: please, stop flattering me. You refused to pick my calls, are you cheating on me? so soon?
Me: baby you are outside, can you come in lets talk about it?
She agreed with me with a nod, and we went inside together.
I brought my cream and she sat on the bed, she sat staring at me as I creamed myself, I am not those type of guys that walk around n_ked when their girlfriends is there.
Me: baby, please, can you apply cream on my back?
Beauty: sure, I will.
She rubbed the cream on her palm and rubbed it all over my back, she took her hands low to my front and kissed my neck, I felt my dck kicking the towel several times.
Beauty: f–k me! *she whisper a command that my lower brain understand
I dragged off my towel from my waist and flung it away, she offed her black t-shirt hurriedly, our lips met half-way as we drank from each others fountain of love.
I unhooked her bra and it fell off, I cupped the two brasts and weighed them before picking the left npple to place my lips on.
I bent low and fed my lips on her ercted n—-e, rolling my tongue on it.
Beauty: aahhh! Sck me hungrily and f–k my ass really good, I want you in my btthole *which one is I want you in btthole again na?*
Me: beg for my dck!
Beauty: ahhh! Please, give it to me in the ass baby *I no understand this ass giving oh!
She unbuttoned her trouser and I helped her out with it, she turned back and held the wall bending towards me.
She wore a g-string pnt that could hardly be called a pnt ’cause this one is just like let me wear to wear.
Abigail: shift the fcking pant, and f–k my ass *I no understand oh!
I walked towards her with my pointing dck, shift her g-rope aside and placed my face in between her crack.
Stretched my tongue and tickled her clt from behind, her love juice started flooding down her flawless laps.
I stood up and readied my dck to thrst in, when she turned around.
Beauty: anal, baby. my dck fall*
Me: which anal, who and you wan anal?
Beauty: lets just try it, is very sweet baby.
Me: who and you wan try am?
Beauty: give it to me in the ass if you love me.
Me: you never ready for love, no love in anal, am no longer in the mood.
Beauty: what’s is wrong with you, Vic? I don’t need your pity, I can take good care of myself, all I asked you to do is to f–k me in the ass.
Me: you see, that place is meant for shit alone, am not going in there.
Beauty: then f–k off!
She started wearing her clothes looking at me briefly as I sat quietly on the bed watching her, she left when it is clear to her that I won’t change my stance.
I dressed up and picked my phone, I placed a call to my brother.
He picked the third ring..
Me: hello, bring my car come.
Victory: abeg na, my just use am f–k one slayqueen, I go bring am tomorrow unfailingly.
Me: rod fall enter your sense… Hello… Helloo..
He ended the call, I started doing some office works and started preparing questions to ask.
I didn’t even have any accounting authority, I just had to ask them any question that entered my head tomorrow, later that night I logged in to whatsapp and Abigail was offline, only Beauty was online.
Me: my love type and send
Beauty: no reply
I sent several messages and love quotes, she was determined to force me into this anal sx of thing, she is looking for who to kill, tell them am not an assassin.
A wicked idea entered my head, I uploaded Abigail’s picture as my profile picture.
She just appeared online…
Abigail: awwnn… Am blushing. *her message
Beauty: my love, please change that profile picture, am sorry. her message
-Toto Pass Toto Episode 54
My brothers and sisters that is how I switched off my data and quickly removed my battery.
I hugged my pillow and drifted to the land of dream, the next morning I woke up strong and sound.
I prepared noddles and enjoyed it with a cup of tea, I had my bath then wore my suite.
Don’t look at me like that Nigeria don’t have suite but coat.
I gathered myself and went to work, after several drama in the buses I took.
I arrived late to my office, it was 9:30am I arrived at the industry premises while I scheduled the interview around 11:00am.
I breathed the bossy air as they threw several ‘sir good morning’ my way.
I headed to my office side which was secluded from the other offices, the passage was open which means my secretary is inside already, I strode the passage on getting to her office door I heard manly voice, I paused and listened.
Voice1: Angela, why you dey do me like this na, I don wait for you sotay I don dey lose weight. When we go do rematch? eehhnn! Wonderful
Voice2: who and you wan do rematch, as you big get muscles everywhere na finger battery dey in between your legs, just carry yourself commot here ehhnn.. Finger battery?
Voice1: I no prove am say the size no matter, no be you dey shout hrder and fster that day?
Voice2: prove wetin? I dey shout harder and faster because I nodey feel anything, I no know when you even start to end am, just carry your two seconds prck commot from my office.
Voice1: no do me like this na, you know say you sweet well well… Your nyash too big, I wish say you no say my knack you from behind you for enjoy my sugar prck, no worry we go do missionary style, this one go sweet you die!
Voice2: see, just go your office or I go shout ‘rape’ for your head, disappear from here oh! You just big for nothing, I think say all these body builders get strong amu but na tortori them get, I no go warn you again oh!
Voice1: just this once abeg, I go make sure say you enjoy am and you go beg me for more.
Voice2: rape oh!! Someone want to rape me oh!! shouting
Voice1: carry your voice down, I don go.
I retreated back like an army, and paused at the pavement, immediately Mr. Jude came out of the office, he was shocked to see me.
Mr. Jude: good afternoon I mean morning, sir.
Me: you no know time again? he scratch his half- white hair
Mr. Jude: am sorry, sir. I just came to take a file from her, you know about the sudden report we needed to prepare.
Me: where is the file, the file rejected you? he look confuse
Mr. Jude: no sir, the file is not prepared yet, my frequenting here will facilitate it.
Me: keep on trying, we need efficiency in this industry.
Mr. Jude: unfailingly, we are glad to offer more than that he grin from ear to ear
I left him and went to my office, I find my secretary behind the computer screen typing seriously, I examined her properly.
That is when I realized she was actually a pretty woman with big assets everywhere, her brasts are threatening to escape the br that cupped them, my dck started nodding towards that direction, I warned my dck mentally to stop.
I don’t like it fat and big, I love it moderate and sweet
Secretary: good morning, sir she greet standing up
Me: morning, Angela… Please seat, prepare the interview room and facilitate the procedures, I would handle it by 11am.
Secretary: am on my way sir.
She stood up and walked to the door, her big ss cheeks were shaking ‘earthquakeously’.
Every of her step shifted the short office skirt she wore to her laps, she is wonderfully blessed behind, no wonder men cannot stay off even the ring on her ring-finger cannot make us stay away.
After she shut the door behind her, I went inside my office and fixed my battery inside my phone.
I breathed as I powered it on, my applications started loading, immediately it had fully started all applications.
I switched on my data and rushed to change my profile picture, a call came in from Victoria.
I haven’t visited her after I promised her I will, she shouldn’t blame me. It was Tracy and her stupid revenge that made me failed her, I picked the call.
Me: aunty Vicky, the finest Nigeria married lady.
Victoria: shey you know say thunder suppose roast you today.
Me: start to come my burial tomorrow, no try eat rice for my burial oh! Drink only water and cry.
Victoria: look at you? I nodey come broke ass association burial, shey you no wan visit me bah?
Me: no vex, them kidnap me that day wey I wan come visit you, them beat my last memory commot.
Victoria: you dey serious, or na one of your crazy lies.
Me: I nodey lie na, ask my twin brother em go prove am.
Victoria: birds of the same feather, shift joor! So, when you go come see your small pikin?
Me: nodey talk that thing oh! You go just make me no come again.
Victoria: you be my pikin godfather, if na girl tufiaa! I no go even gree, before you go go finger her one day.
Me: *I start laughing I don give my life to Christ, old things have past away.
Victoria: pastor Victor, but you no go fit pastor for my church fine another parish, so when you go come?
Me: after work.
Victory: no fail me oh!
Me: I swear.
The call ended and Beauty called me immediately, I groaned and picked the call she was silent on the other end for few seconds before she spoke…
Beauty: is it she, the one you love more than me?
Me: no, she is just my bestie. You know I cannot live without you, you are the air I breathe, you are the reason I keep on living, you are a part of me I cannot lose, immediately you end the call I will change it.
Beauty: I love you more! her voice change from crying one to cheerful will you change it to my….
Me: hello… Helloo… Helloo… Are you… Hearing me? Network.
I ended the call and rushed to my whatsapp hurriedly and click on the profile section and clicked on the profile icon then changed the profile picture to a writeup ‘I LOVE MY BABY’
A message came in from Abigail immediately.
Abigail: so you removed my picture from your profile? her whatsapp message
-Toto Pass Toto Episode 55
I didn’t even know what to do again, I stared at my phone for few seconds after I view her message, I breathed out the confusion and my thumbs hovered on the keyboard in my screen.
Me: Sweet, I thought you said I should remove it? I reply
Abigail: I never said so. her message
Me: okay, am sorry. I thought you did. I reply
Abigail: ehnn.. I don’t like that picture, use this one. This one is finer than the other one, those little girls should back off a photo with footnote, her message
I was still battling with the confusion at hand when Beauty hawked her ‘wahala’ to my market.
Beauty: baby, I want you to put my picture on your profile, I love you so so much she send a photo with footnote
Me: wetin I do these girls na?
My brain was very hot that I didn’t even know what to do anymore, I switched off my data and removed the battery including the sim card.
My secretary walked in…
Secretary: sir, is time.
Me: make we dey go I exhale and stretch myself yawning
Secretary: sir, what happened to your phone? this one will not mind her business
Me: I dey do experiment.
I headed out and she came running behind, I walked directly to the interview room and took my supposed seat.
I exhaled when I saw ten files on the table, I scanned the files and learnt that two girls survived the hard test by the accounting team.
I signaled my secretary to invite the first person on my list, I kept my stare constantly as the first applicant opened the door and stepped in, he shut the door behind him.
He was unnerved by my stare as he shook with freight, he stood before me instead of having a chair.
Me: who are you and what are you doing here? I bark at him
Applicant: si..r s…ir his lips start dancing awilo am .. Here for the interview.
That is how he lost his opportunity to be the accountant of the industry, he dearth wit.
The next person came in, he looked like a criminal but perhaps an educated one, all those people that can rob you and you will thank them for doing good things, he sat after greeting me.
I remained silent as I studied him, my constant stare at him made him look at himself instead of facing me, that alone gave him in.
Me: what did you take this morning? I ask calmly
Applicant2: I had bread and tea as breakfast this one can lie!
Me: and wetin that one dey give for body?
Applicant2: is advisable we should take light food in the morning.
That is how he failed, that was never an answer to my question.
I nodded and acknowledged his wit and manliness.
Me: we will get back to you.
He stood up and left, another applicant came in.
His timid nature and his glasses showed that he is one of those guys that love reading more than anything, I don’t like boring people.
Me: you don’t look like John I watch him calmly
Applicant3: I am John, sir.
Me: what makes you John?
Applicant3: I am recognized as John, and my parents gave me that name.
Me: I do not recognize John as you, what if your parents never gave you that name, would you still be John?
Applicant3: I will go by the name am recognized with sir. I nod, he has just fail
Me: wetin you chop this morning? he adjust his eyeglass, habit and it is disrespectful
Applicant3: garri and soup this one wan come sleep for here
Me: we will message you.
He took his leave and I was left with just two files, and they are all female.
One of the girls stepped in, she was looking dangerous with her make-up and the gods are no friendly eyelashes, I adjusted uncomfortably on my office chair.
She is pretty but her crave for artificial discredit her partially.
She greeted humbly and had her seat.
Me: you don thief before? she look confuse and shake her head
Applicant4: I have never steal before, I am a christian and my doctrine preached against that.
Me: alright, we will definitely get back to you in due time.
She had failed woefully, there is no child born in Nigeria that had not steal, knowingly or unknowingly. Stealing is not just forcefully acquisition of someone’s property by threatening his or her life, but taking someone’s property without his or her knowledge and consent, scamming follow sha..
She left and I checked the remaining file, it was a girl and her name is Cynthia.
I looked at her passport and her facial out-look wasn’t actually attractive, the door opened and a very I mean very beautiful girl walked in like her ‘royal majesty’.
Peruzzi talk say ‘come and see the mermaid’, my breathe left the window as I stared at the passport and her in person interchangeably.
I swallowed hard as she gave her professional smile displaying a very white teeth, I cleared my throat and stared at her very hard, but she looked back unshaken.
Her beauty gave her confidence.
Me: have you steal before?
Applicant5: yes, sir. But I cannot remember how many times and how I did.
Me: why are you pretty?
Applicant5: I don’t see myself as someone pretty, thank you if you see me as such she knock me off with her smartness
Me: we will call you.
Applicant5: thank you, sir.
Me: call in my secretary.
She left and my secretary walked in, she was looking at me somehow somehow, sniffling like dog that has smelt roasted shit.
See this woman oh!
Me: go buy me a new phone and another sim.
Secretary: alright, sir.
She took the money and left, I came out of the interview room and went to my office and sat down.
I slept off and some minutes later my secretary woke me, I inserted the new sim in the new phone and recharged it using my bank.
I downloaded facebook and whatsapp into it, and saved only Abigail’s number.
I switched on my other phone and took the picture there without the sim card ofcourse,
I sent the pictures to the new phone, I uploaded Beauty’s picture as my facebook profile picture and Abigail as my whatsapp profile picture and sent her a message, since her phone number was the only number saved in the new sim card.
She wasn’t online so I dialed her number, it rang four times before she finally picked.
Abigail: hello, who is on the line?
Me: sweet, how are you?
Abigail: Vic, is that you?
Me: yes, my love.
Abigail: what happened to your phone, I tried calling you a million times but it wasn’t going through.
Me: I for don die by now sef.
Abigail: god forbid!
Me: amen oh, armed robbers attacked me and robbed me.
Abigail: did they hurt you, hope you are fine?
Me: am not oh! I just dey come back from hospital.
Abigail: jeez.. I dey come… I am coming over after work, sweet. my heart skip
Wetin I do god of lie? Make person help me ask am.
-Toto Pass Toto Episode 56
I scratched my head as ideas failed to creep into my head, I opened another page in my head that contained three ways to escape danger.
Me: I travelled immediately after the robbery, am not at home… Sweet.
Abigail: where did you go to? she ask suspiciously
Me: I went to see my parents, they are disturbing that I have not visited them for a long time so I seized the opportunity to travel and see them.
Abigail: I thought you said you were beaten to mouth of grave, how were you able to travel?
Me: you ehnn… No be wetin I talk oh! I just go hospital for trauma check up because they almost shot me with the gun they held, but God in heaven no gree.
Abigail: I see, uncle when are you returning, you know tomorrow is your birthday and we are celebrating it together that birthday is scary
Me: I will be back in the evening, is there no emergency today. Aunty go safe life she laugh
Abigail: I will call you later, Sweet.
She ended the call and I logged in my facebook account to check if there is any message from Beauty.
There was lots of messages from friends, I saw her icon showing green indicating she is online.
I tapped the screen part displaying her icon and met a message from her.
Beauty: what happened to your phone? her message
Me: they stole my phone, I will buy a new one and retrieve the line I reply
Beauty: I will get you a new phone tomorrow, talk to you later.
I exhaled the breathe I was holding, Beauty was not curious after all, she cares less.
I logged off after she went offline.
Me: aunty secretary come oh! she enter my office after few minutes
Secretary: yes, you called me.
Me: yes na, prepare employment letter for Cynthia, she has the job.
Secretary: but sir, that girl looks like a criminal, she will be stealing the industry funds, we should take one of the male. look at you? So that ona go f–k from office to roof
Me: aunty secretary, I prefer the girl. Who even tell you say she go see the industry money? Na money record she godey keep not the bills, carry your but and go prepare the paper. she look sad about my decision but has no choice but to do what I ask her to
I felt uncomfortable about tomorrow, I felt like something very bad will happen tomorrow, I needed someone to give me advice on how to handle double-dating palava, and the right person is Victoria.
She is very sharp and can date two brothers for as many years as she want without them being aware that they are both dating the same girl.
I called my twin brother immediately for my call, he picked quickly.
Me: sweet boy, wey my car?
Victory: I dey carry am come your work place, chill.. You too harsh joor.
Me: I dey wait for you.
I ended the call and placed my both legs on the table before me, the way the A-C is doing my body, ‘I know say big man sweet, poor man no know’
After an hour my secretary informed me of the presence of my brother, I asked her to let him ‘that one sweet me die’.
He came in, and I wore an eyeglass I saw on the table wondered who kept it there, I wore a serious face as he walked closer.
Me: young man, what do you want? with thick bass
Victory: big man no even fit you.
Me: drop the car key disappear joor!
You wey big man fit still dey hammer garri and groundnut like hobby.
Victory: na joke na, help me drop me for somewhere na I take the car keys and put in my pocket first
Me: you no get transport fare, I pity you oh! Start to trek dey go so that you go meet up on time.
Victory: pity your one and only twin brother na, abeg na! Just a lift.
Me: you get luck say I wan commot sef.
I arranged my table and took my briefcase then both of us marched out, I locked my office and we walked pass my secretary section. I suspected the way my brother and my secretary looked at each other,
Me: that woman husband na butcher!
Victory; ehhnnn… She don marry?
Me: ehnn.. You no see the ring for her hand.
He scratched his head and we entered my car, I ignited the engine and set the car in motion.
He dropped at the junction while I took a U-turn to my destination.
I got to the address that Victoria sent to me, the environment is serene as it is a government reserve area-GRA.
I called thrice before she picked the call.
Victoria: hello, who am speaking with?
Me: no kill English abeg, tell your gateman make em open gate, I dey outside with my range rover?
Victoria: no carry that keke napep put inside my compound oh, no inflict my house with poverty I laugh
Me: I come with car but no be range rover, tell am to open gate joor!
Victoria: hmmm.. Where you go thief car?
Me: I go go back oh!
Victoria: ah! Ah! Person nofit play with you, I go tell am.
I horned and the gate opened on it’s own, I didn’t realize that aunty Vicky has hit jack-pot until I entered the compound that made me see myself as very poor dude, is this not oversea in Africa.
Everywhere is sparkling, as I came down from my car and looked at things inside the compound, the more I look around I saw money everywhere, I could only breathe out ‘wow’.
Victoria was at the garden with her husband, she waved at me and I walked towards them.
I nearly pulled my shoe so that I can step inside the garden with beautiful and dazzling field grass, ‘people get money for this country oh’.
Her husband is a handsome man but with pot-belle, men with pot-belle are handsome especially those without pot-belle.
A fair tall man as he stood to have handshakes with me, he looks like money and he won my respect.
Me: good afternoon, sir.
Man: afternoon, so, you are the one my wife’s is talking about? I nod you are a handsome young man, I will look for a better job for you. I become confuse
Victoria: thanks honey.
Me: thank you sir I grab his hand with my two hands, the handshake don change level
Man: can I leave now, I have an appointment to catch.
Victoria: yes, honey. See you in the evening. he peck her and left
I didn’t take my eyes off the man as his movements speaks money, even his shoe speaks money, he should be breathing money too.
The man is very calm and opposite of Victoria, who I know can do and undo.
I wondered why in morale spheres opposite attract much in this current century of us.
I faced Victoria…
Me: how you take do am, which Baba lawo?
Victoria: mad boy, you don chop?
Me: no, na em make you be my house mother, you nodey ever disappoint.
Victoria: for food bah? No do marry oh! she stand up, looking like those ladies that you will feel inferior to approach if you don’t have Rang rovers sport
Me: Aunty Vicky, you look so potato, the man sp*rm dey work oh!
Victoria: you no go ever change, follow me, before you go go enter beware of dogs.
That is how I magnet myself with her, rich people’s dogs look like hungry lion.
We entered the house and I knew there is places like heaven on Earth, their are servants everywhere.
And a white lady came down from the staircase with a baby in her hands, she is not like ass-less Italian girls or boobs-less European girls, she has everything an Africa lady could boast of and everything a white lady holds as pride.
I couldn’t help but stare and imagined myself dating someone like that, black versus white ‘how ona see am?’.
I know Victoria will not agree to it, she took the baby from the white lady and she said hi while I stared away without replying.
She went up, I was still staring, is like that day was meant for staring.
Victoria: I know say you don give am like six rounds with your eyes.
Me: me wey be priest, na who she be sef?
Victoria: you wan chop food or talk about her first?
See question oh!
-Toto Pass Toto Episode 57
Me: I for like talk about her after I eat finish.
Victoria: hungry never wire you.
Me: hiaa.. Person nofit pull your legs, this your pikin fine oh the baby keep on staring at me suspiciously, if he can speak he would have ask what are you doing with my mommy?
Victoria: the pikin go fine pass you.
Me: I gree, wey the food na?
Victoria: you and your brother food, follow me.
I walked behind her as we walked to a section of the house illuminated with expensive light bulbs.
They were artistry portraits on the walls and flowers that gave the dinning life, the air there is calm and serene.
The tables was made with crystal and the chairs were made of bronze, and they all have an inscription, I could not hold myself from saying money is speaking.
Me: all these things wey ona put here don belleful person before em go start to eat.
Victoria: na for tv you dey see this kind things?
Me: this your husband na yahooman or na political underdog, which one em be? she start laughing.
Victoria: eat your food, I wan go breast feed my pikin.
I sat down and opened the big round plate before me, inside it is three breakable plates.
One of it contained fried rice with lots of beef mixed with it, and the other one has two laps of fried chicken with sauce.
Victoria left with her noisy baby, probably he is angry that am eating food from their house, all those stingy babies that people will be saying that they don’t know anything but ‘na lie oh!’.
The other one has what I don’t understand, should I say it is salad or desert.
I just shift that one go one side, picked a spoon and forget the others aligned on the tray.
I washed my hand neatly and held the chicken lap, used my teeth and dragged of it skin…
I finished one lap before I started eating the fried rice with lots of pieces of meats.
Everything was tasting good, no wonder God say rich people no go fit make heaven them don enjoy everything for Earth, their question be ‘wetin remain?’
Before Victoria returned, I was picking out stubborn meat particles from my teeth.
Before she took a seat beside me, I gulped down the glass of juice.
Me: na person one year salary you dey eat a day, unbelievable she laugh
Victoria: you sabi eat oh! But you nodey fat.
Me: ehhnn.. So who be that Oyigbo babe?
Victoria: I know say you go ask, look at you womanizer.
Me: you dey 21st century still dey call womanizer, we don change our badge to sweetboy.
Another ebony lady came down dressed like maid, she wore all those black and white oyigbo people their maid uniform.
That looks like burial united uniform, occasion lords can relate.
Her ss is not of this Earth but of Mars, I wondered why all the workers here are cute are they an organization or something.
She parked the plates and carried away while my eyes went with her and returned after she went out of view, Victoria shook her head.
Victoria: I nofit allow you live here for a Month oh!
Me: why you talk like that?
Victoria: see the way you dey n_ked all my maids with your eyes, you never change. What of your babe?
Me: them dey… So who be that Oyigbo babe?
Victory: hired home nurse, shey you fit allow me rest.
Me: which one be hired home nurse?
Victoria: see question, ask google na. What of your main chick, you no go introduce am to me, make I pass my judgment.
Me: shey na court or you wan start to practice your judgeship?
Victoria: see you, I wan give you wife material you dey form.
Me: why you no give me your home nurse my marry? Well.. I get two main chicks oh! My sister, them wan kill me *I breathe out sadly
Victoria: Vic, why na? Shey you wan kill yourself, them dey aware say you dey date two of them?
Me: no, maybe tomorrow, you know say na my birthday. I want make you advise me, my sense don dey fade these days.
Victoria: breakup with one and be with the one you love pass amongst their two, you wan fake your death tomorrow? Or which kind lie you wan talk wey their two no go like spend your birthday with you.
Me: na em be the problem, I love their two equally, them two be complete halves of what every man want in his life.
Victoria: you don lie be that, toto pass toto there is no way you no go love one pass, look deeper you go see the answer.
Me: I nofit breakup with one ’cause my life is on the line, I no be Eminem to put If for die young, I wan be Jay Z so that I go live to enjoy. I cannot break up with the other one ’cause I will feel horrible, she has done a lot for me, hurting her will make me an ingrate and I hate seeing myself as such.
Victoria: na the only advice I get to give you, sorry. Maybe, smoke weed to get inspiration.
Me: you no well oh! Money don turn your evil sense up side down. Make I dey waka na, since you no get better thing to tell me.
Victory: so soon, you just dey come now now oh!
Me: you for tell me na, I for carry my bags and mat come live with you.
I stood up and we headed outside seeing lots of servants on my way, the place looks like babes kingdom. She is really enjoying, I wondered why the man spend so much to make her comfortable.
I didn’t want to ask but I will ask, the moment we got closer to my car, I turned to her.
Me: Aunty Vicky no vex oh! Why your husband dey spend so much to make here and you feel like say you dey heaven?
Victoria: you notice, well… Em no go fit born again, na em first and last child. I pity him
I entered my car quickly before she will tell me that am the owner of that baby inside the room, I was driving home didn’t know which kingdom the satan is from that asked Biggy to call a peace loving gentleman like me, I picked his phone at the third rang after parking my car at the roadside.
Me: man turkey, how far?
Biggy: Victor, where you dey?
Me: I dey old GRA.
Biggy: thank God, come meet me for Agip bridge, my client wan pay and I want make our two follow.
Me: 50-50, you gree I go come.
Biggy: ahhh! Em too much na, the money na just 500k, if I give you 250k na bad business na.
Me: you no serious, i wan lie down go sleep.
Biggy: no vex, oya come I dey wait for you.
I drove to were Biggy is, he hopped in and refused putting me through about the business.
He only told me am to escort and act like a friend who is deaf and dumb, this kind business fear me sha…
Following his direction we landed in a club house in a secluded environment, right place to scam someone and get away from it.
I can even bng a girl while he is busy scamming his client.
We came down from the car and headed inside the club house, soft music was playing and the place was scanty, as I could give a head counts of dcks without pssy. I comforted myself with the idea, that it is still early.
Biggy sighted his client and signaled me to follow, we went to were he sat lone watching a male stripper twerk on the pole, I laughed at the foolishness.
At first I thought is a she didn’t know he is he, I mean he he that he a she. He dressed like a shemale without brest, he stared at me and Biggy lustfully I felt uncomfortable but I knew nothing is my business am just a driver to earn 250k.
Biggy: Charles, meet my friend Victor, he is deaf and dumb. meet who?
Charles: he is so cute he stretch his hand for handshake I stretch my own too, he grab my hand and kiss it. I snatched my hand quickly, he rub his lips with his finger and sck it*
Biggy: am here now, where is the money?
Charles: let me transfer it right away.
He tapped on his phone, and I started looking around to see if babes have started arriving instead I saw white men arriving with dcks that behaves and dresses like women, fear gripped me.
I signaled Biggy with my eyes that we should start leaving.
Immediately, he received the alert, he got up and dropped his phone on the table.
Biggy: let me get ready for you baby, come meet me in the bathroom *Biggy get up and walk away, the idiot spank his nyash, abominable
Charles: after you baby, am coming to smash your ass and cm inside your tight butthole *I nearly throw up
Biggy hurried to the restrooms section, while Charles got up lazily taking more peeps from the twerking male.
I felt uncomfortable and nearly threw up, he went after Biggy and I was the only one left on the table. I looked around for babes, I saw men making out, I mean amu to amu doing it, come see fear wey catch me like cold.
A message entered my phone from Biggy.
Biggy: guy fine your level oh, I dey outside as I dey tell you now.
I quickly got up and headed to the exit, my heart nearly escaped me when a strong hand grabbed me. I was happy is not Charles, my nyash for hear am today.
I smiled sweetly.
Man: I want to smash your ss handsome.
Me: okay, I love you to give it to me outside.
Man: no, I want everyone here to watch *see me see wahala, his long dck peep from his zipper, fear catch me*
Me: oh! Get your fcking hands off me if you don’t want it to happen outside.
He held me strongly, I wondered where the strength was coming from he doesn’t look like someone that can fight or even withstand me.
I have heard of extraordinary strength all these homos_xual association possess, I tried to get him off me.
He turned me over in a swift and held my belt, I tried to get out of his grasp but his resistance is like pillar of babel.
‘biggy aff killed me’.
Man: I love it when I fight for the *ss, I will destroy it and pay for the damage *only his statement format my brain, I look at the glass door and see Charles searching for me, double wahala for dead body
I stopped resisting and he unbuckled my belt, I grabbed his dck and I start jrking it.
Man: do you like it, you want to sck?
Me: yes, I want to have your balls and sweet dck in my mouth.
Man: oohh! Good boy.
He left me and pulled his trouser from his waist completely, I moved my hand slowly down to his sac and cupped his balls.
I slapped it very hard that he groaned in pains, I held my trouser and took off but he grabbed my leg while he was struggling with his pains on the floor.
Charles saw me immediately and started coming to were I am, I kicked him thrice before he left me.
Come see race, I left my car and ran like temple run.
I saw a keke moving towards me, I flagged it down and hopped in at the front and he zoomed off.
I don’t know what kind of turning the keke driver want to do, he ran into range-rover sport with tinted glass, the car was parked by the road and the driver must be inside.
The keke driver took off immediately leaving me at the driver seat, I no waste time I device my level.
Come see race na! My legs were touching the back of my head as I ran leaving the other passengers.
-Toto Pass Toto Episode 58
I ran faster than my legs could carry me, I ‘no even believe say I get that kind speed’.
I ran into a street that I don’t even know it’s name or have I been to, I was getting tired and my brain was telling me to stop running.
Immediately I slowed down a dog started barking, another renew energy descend from heaven.
I took off again with higher speed suspecting that it will be one of those dogs that is owned by those rich men that lived in that area.
Until when I heard some kids laughing behind me, I didn’t slow down.
Voices: look at that uncle, he is running from that little puppy I no stop until someone grab my hand, fear catch me, I wan punch the person thinking say na Charles
Biggy: calm down oh! I drop my hand and hiss why you dey run like person wey boko haram, herdsmen and militant dey pursue?
Me: Charles na the boko haram and one stupid keke and the driver be herdsmen, while that dog na the militant. I bend low breathing heavily, my body drench with sweats
Biggy: which dog you dey talk?
I looked back properly to see a little dog running towards us barking, it was all my imagination playing tricks on me with the bull-dog barking sound.
I picked a stone and aimed at it, it revised quickly and ran back, I took another one and threw at it and it hit the bumbum of the dog.
The dog ran faster and started crying, probably to his or her mama.
I returned back to see Biggy laughing out his ass, he sat on the tarred road laughing madly as tears were at the corner of his eyes, he thought the situation is funny.
Me: see, no ever try wetin you try today. The next time you wan go do this kind business, if you remember me, the kind thunder wey go strike you ehnn! he get up and look around
Biggy: what of your car and that my phone nkor? I hiss
Me: you for dey see obituary poster of me as we dey talk, sas the obituary poster go be ‘his ass gone so soon’ Biggy start laughing
Biggy: but I tell you say make you twuama na, na Charles catch you.
Me: no, the one wey catch me na very aggressive homo, if no be say I dey on God. I for nofit escape, my mama and papa prayers na em safe me.
Dogs: ho! Hooo! Hoooo!! Hoooooo!!!
Biggy and I turned at a time to see numerous dogs running after us, they were not smiling and the growing evening darkness did nothing to conceal their white teeth. They look hungry and ready to pounce on anybody, Biggy bolted immediately and I ran as I have not done any running that day.
We took many turns till we outran the dogs, when we ran into a safe place that we have great hopes that those stupid dogs won’t find us, we stopped to catch our breathes.
We were already at the major roadside, I raised my head and looked around to see myself in Agip flyover, ‘I feel like to slap Biggy for turning that day to running day for me’ my kneels were aching badly, and my legs wobbled ’cause of weakness.
Biggy: why you no enter keke go house instead of to go disturb small dog wey get position for dog community?
Me: I for dey prison or hospital, the idiot keke man jam jeep with tinted glass run leave me as the driver, who knows na army man get that car or worse one ugly rich lady.
Biggy: choi.. Your case for don close, ugly people na one of Nigeria economic and political problems.
Me: sas the dog dey rush us, if na armed robbers them no go fit chase them like that oh! Wey my part for the money?
Biggy: hiaa! You dey vex oh! Make we reach house na.
Me: reach which house? Lai.. Lai… I nodey gree, send the money now now.
He hissed and brought out his phone, I received an alert after some minutes.
I nodded after seeing the money I suffered so much for.
Me: take this car keys, make you and my brother go bring my car.
I turned and heard a conductor calling names of streets, he called my destination and I flagged it down.
The driver slowed down the bus, I hurried towards the bus.
Conductor: oga you dey go?
Me: no be why I stop you?
Conductor: em never reach quarrel, sister adjust. Be serious, driver dey go.
I haven’t even taken my seat when the bus moved, I lost balance and hugged a girl in the bus with my sweaty body.
Girl: Jesus body odour, oga who send you, you have just dirty me.
Me: no vex, abeg… No vex, na the driver ’cause am.
Every one turned to me, some of them were laughing.
They looked back to see who they were laughing at, it was just two people who took pity as the girl humiliated me.
The stupid danfo driver was busy hitting old songs, as the trembling bus was bouncing along with every beats.
I even feared for my soul, luckily for me I got to my junction and took a taxi home.
Immediately I got into my apartment, I entered the shower and had a cool bath, I slept off afterwards.
I was surprised to receive kiss on my lips, I woke up and saw Beauty smiling down at me.
I couldn’t believe my eyes, I rubbed it twice before I mumbled good morning.
Beauty: happy birthday, my love.
Me: thanks, baby. You are very early she squeeze her face
Beauty: is eleven a.m, honey she look at me suspiciously hold on, who were you with last night? ajuju
Me: Biggy took me to a party and got me drunk.
Beauty: God! What a friend, stay away from him already, look I got you a new phone, I will be rushing off to the market to get ingredients to cook for you abeg oh! No cook for me
Me: I smile, na only you go chop am thanks, honey.
Beauty: anything for my love naso Beauty carry her wahala waka
I saw the package she dropped, it was the trending i-phone, I’d have been happy about the gift but today was a bad news for me.
I switched on my data and messages from family and friends started flooding in, text messages from Abigail and from Beauty also and other friends.
I didn’t bother reading them, my mind was on my facebook.
I went to whatsapp and both my lovely girlfriends have my picture as their profile picture, I smiled to myself am a lucky dude, I never reach man.
I logged into my facebook and my heart started loading too, at my facebook news feed is me and Abigail in a romantic position, she tagged me and wrote sweet things on it.
While Beauty own was the worse, the picture she uploaded can make someone cm, she wore a bumshort and I was shirtless, she only wore what covered her boobs everything was on full display, I couldn’t even remember when we took those pictures she is uploading.
And she tagged me, I was very worried about both of them seeing these pictures, the likes was over 5k. I meant the one Beauty uploaded, Abigail’s own was just over 3k, I wasn’t pleased at all.
I sat on the bed thinking, am confused.
I didn’t know when Beauty came back, i started hearing sounds of plate.
I got up from the bed and went to brush my teeth, I had my bath and returned to the kitchen.
She was preparing egusi soup with meats and fishes everywhere, this egusi soup again.
The aroma was nice, I strategize a plan for Beauty and I to leave the house.
I will seduce her and the food will get burnt, then both of us will leave the house happy ending, my dck rose in my boxer.
I walked to the kitchen and hugged her from behind and placed my hard on, on her *ss.
I kissed her neck and scked on her ear, she let out a man.
Beauty: naughty boy, am cooking.
Me: don’t say no, I missed you so much. I cannot wait to have you.
I whispered those words and grabbed her brasts from behind, she turned and kissed me, I sweep her off the floor into my arms and carried her to the bed.
She wore a bumshort that has army design, with white shirt.
She took off her shirt and we resumed the kissing, I unclasped her br* and it dropped on the bed.
I wanted the food to get burnt, so I quickly placed my mouth on her npples.
We were both lost in our sxual world, but a voice brought me back and a sound of something dropped behind us.
I looked back and saw Abigail in tears with a big cake scattered on the floor, I was shocked but Beauty was surprised.
-Toto Pass Toto Episode 59
I was like someone who was asked to stab himself with knife and a gun was pointed at me if I don’t, I will be shot. I stared at Abigail who stood helplessly crying, Beauty stared at me and Abigail in confusion.
Half of my heart cried out and ran away, I couldn’t go after her ’cause another half of my heart is here. Abigail ‘na half of my heart wey run’, I sat on the bed weakly, Beauty knelt on the bed her arms akimbo, she glared at me murderously.
Beauty: are you cheating on me with that?
Me: am sorr….
A very hot slap I mean hot like hot water landed on my left cheek, and I started seeing metaphysical stars. I laid flat on the bed covering my left cheek with the other of my palm.
She looked mean, she picked her br* and clasped it behind and wore her clothe.
Beauty: I don’t want to ever see your cheating self close to me again, or I will kill you! she scream like a mad lady
I shifted a way in freight, I have started memorizing all those karate moves I watched in movies in case she tried to stab me with knife, she hissed and took her handbag and cat-walked out of my room,
I stood up and tip-toed to the kitchen to make sure she is gone.
I saw the pot of soup boiling on the gas cooker, I brought it done first. I went out of the kitchen to the verandah and locked the protector.
I knew the chapter of Beauty has closed in my life, she isn’t the type that jokes with words.
The thought of Abigail made me cry…
Me: I be man, I no go cry hot tears start coming out my eyes
I saw the big cake on the floor that the shape has already been destroyed, beside it is a medical report.
I picked it up and read it to find out that I have an unborn child.
Me: I be person papa I scream happily, falling on the bed
I rolled on the bed rejoicing until I realized I just shattered my unborn baby’s mother’s heart.
I grabbed my phone, I didn’t want to call her ’cause she won’t pick my call, I decided a text will be better. I will not include the child so that she will not feel like I only care about the baby.
Me: am be your mad lover Abigail I mumble to myself
I started punching the keyboard in my phone’s screen ‘I know am not worthy of your love, am a foolish lover, an idiot. Person wey brain empty, I know you are angry but whenever you smile, the heaven’s bless the innocent. I didn’t mean to hurt you, am the biggest foolish fool on Earth to loose a rare jewel like you, I was dating Beauty before I met and fell in love with you and my legs come break scatter inside the love, I couldn’t breakup with her ’cause she threatened to kill me and I don’t want to loose you, I hope you forgive me. I never took you for a fool, I always and always love you. Amongst the billion lies I told you, this is just the only truth, believe me I will continually beg for your forgiveness till I die’
After I was done with typing the message, I sent it and waited for it. The message was delivered and I exhaled happily, I had nothing to do. I cleaned up the mess in my room and went to make garri for myself, one mind was telling me not to eat the soup that Beauty cooked.
She might have dropped some poison inside before she left my apartment.
I took one meat in the soup and exit the house, there is this dog owned by our caretaker.
He kept it in the cage at the back of the flats, the dog is always quiet you will hardly know if there is dog in the compound ’cause she only barks when she is hungry that is all, ‘after food the dog dey mind em business’.
I got to it cage and eyed the meat I held, I cut it by two.
The meat is too much for the dog, the dog sat at the edge of the cage looking at me with her tongue dancing in her open mouth.
I looked left and right to check if the coast is clear, I threw the cut piece of meat inside the cage.
The dog stared at it and smelt it and went back to it majestical position, I waited and the stupid dog also waited for me to throw the other piece, ‘which kind dog be this? Na human being be this oh!’
I gave it the other piece swearing for the stupid dog.
It repeated the same action and sat back staring at me, licking it mouth.
I waited for more minutes and the dog maintained it position, I decided more meats will do the trick.
I went back to the room and carried two big pieces of meats with bones and returned to the cage with it, I threw one it didn’t move.
Immediately I threw the other one, it stood up and started feasting on the other meats I threw earlier, making some funny sounds as she enjoyed the meat.
Me: do die abeg.
I left that place angrily and went inside my room, I sat for ten minutes.
I came out of my room and met sister Mary coming inside the yard, I behaved like I saw nobody and tried to check on the dog.
Mary: Vic, you no see me?
Me: oh! You sabi my name, no vex… Separate Paul from Barnabas, light and darkness have nothing in common, no call my name again.
Mary: ah! Ahh! You still dey vex for wetin I do you the other time.
Me: no call my name again I walk away
Mary: you sabi vex oh! I for like make you give me something.
Me: go meet your pastor.
I took a turn and headed to the cage, I met the dog sitting down.
Immediately the dog saw me, it started licking it mouth.
Me: so you no die!
The dog was sad when it didn’t see me with more meats, I gave it a very bad look that the dog behave herself.
Me: you think say na me get you?
I hissed and walked away, I started hearing voices inside my room and my car parked inside the compound.
I entered my apartment and couldn’t find the bowl of garri I made, I opened the soup and it looked like someone has disvirgin the innocency of the pot of the soup with brutal rape.
I entered my bedroom and met Biggy with my twin brother swallowing seriously with different plates of soup, I started crying.
I didn’t even know why I was crying, after Biggy swallowed the last morsel and there is no trace of garri inside the bowl.
Victory: happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you.
Biggy: how old are you now? How many years you don reach?
Me: ona two don mad!!
I hissed and went inside the kitchen to boil hot water, I poured water inside the kettle and placed it on the fire.
Biggy and Victory came out of the room.
Biggy: birthday boy, enjoy yourself.
Victory: the celebrant, that soup sweet oh!
They left afterwards and I made garri for myself, I boiled the soup again.
I dished for myself and settled with it, I first put my finger and tasted the soup, it taste great.
Me: she learnt how to cook for my sake I feel horrible for disappointing Beauty
I put my emotion on checks and devoured the food, drank a cup of water and returned back to my bed. I slept off, someone woke me up pointing a gun at me.
Me: sir…. Sir… Please, don’t kill me.
Man: shut up! Beauty said I should kill you.
He pulled the trigger and shot me twice in the stomach.